a mighty fine life

Sibling age gap - What's best?

2012-02-06T21:00:00.000-05:00

Okay, so this has been on my mind for a few weeks now... I've thinking a lot about the ideal time between babies. And, No! I'm not pregnant or wanting to be right now! Just thinking.

We know we want to have another child at some point, but the question is, when? And I know you can't always plan things perfectly but when should we even aim to start trying again?

Lila is nearing her first birthday and I'd love for her to have a brother or sister relatively close to her age. My brother is 2.5 years younger than me and although we tormented each other at times we have gotten along pretty well our whole lives. From what I hear, 2-3 years apart is pretty ideal.

My hopes with the spacing:

- The kids can play together well

- Lila kind of knows what is going on when the new baby comes

- Lila is potty trained or close to it when we have a newborn

- The kids will both attend the same schools some of the time: 1st and 4th grade, or freshman and senior

I'd also like to avoid a June - October baby because of work reasons (my busiest time is August - October). And again, I know this is hard to plan. But ideally, I'd like a winter or spring baby.

So that said, is 2.5 years apart the best? Is 3.5 too much? Is there really much of a difference? Does it have more to do with the older child's temperament than age?

Let's just say we achieve a 2.5 year age gap exactly. Lila will be 2.5 on August 23, 2013. Since I'd like to avoid that time of year to have a baby it will probably be sooner than that. Or later?

An April 2013 baby would make the kiddos 26 months apart. Is that too close? And I'd need to be pregnant again this coming July! Am I even ready for that?! Since I'm absolutely terrified to go into labor again...Methinks... NO.

A little bit over a 3 year age gap would be April or May of 2014. Lila will likely be potty trained by then and old enough to kind of know what's going on. But if we aim for that time, what if it takes us awhile to get pregnant? It's not the end of the world but would a 4 year age gap be too much?

What I'm thinking now is trying for another baby right around Lila's 2nd birthday in February of 2013. Hopefully I'll be pregnant before summer and will be having a baby in late Fall 2013 or Winter/Spring of 2014. On the early end that'd be an October baby and Lila would be a bit over 2.5. On the later end, she'd get a sibling right after her 3rd birthday.

The only downside I see to this is that I'd be pregnant on my 30th birthday in September 2013! I totally wanted to be in Vegas or on a cruise!

It helped to think that out "on paper"... but in the end I know you can't always plan things like this. I guess we will know when we are ready to add to our family and it will happen when it happens! Anyone have any insights into the best sibling age gap?

The first year of Motherhood

2012-02-02T13:06:00.001-05:00

This time last year I was nearing my due date of February 14th, not knowing that I'd have to wait until February 23rd to meet my daughter. All of that build up to Lila's birth seems like yesterday and years ago at the same time. In many ways I'm exactly the same person that I was pre-Lila. But of course motherhood changes you. I'm late more often than I'm early these days. I think more about the future. My thoughts and concerns are less about myself and more about my daughter.

Being a mom is hard! I know it's difficult whether you are a working mom or a stay at home mom or a work at home mom. I have friends in all of those situations and we all struggle sometimes. The hardest thing for me about being a working mom is not having enough time to do everything and feeling so pulled in different ways. There are so many thoughts in my head at all times. I want to do it all and sometimes there is not enough time and energy to do that.

Somehow I feel both empowered and inadequate as a mother. Do we all feel that way? I'm proud of so many things I've done for Lila in her first year of life. She is an amazing little girl, and while I can't take credit for all of it, I'm sure the time and love we give her is shaping her into the person she will be. I'm really proud of myself looking back on my first year of motherhood. For someone who'd only changed one diaper and never even held a baby younger than a month old, I've come a long way! I am doing a much better job than I thought I was going to do, but I still feel like I could do more. That stupid mommy guilt has its way of creeping in.

Guilt aside, I have learned so much in the past year!

I've learned perseverance. Breastfeeding did not come easily to us, but we made it work! After struggling with latching issues and extremely long feeding sessions we finally got our rhythm and for 7 months she was mostly breastfed. Nursing was not the blissful bonding experience that many people describe it to be, but I'm really glad we figured it out. I hope to at least nurse for 6 months with the next baby too. If you can make it work, it is so much easier to breastfeed in those early months when they eat so often.

I've learned to trust my gut. It was totally the right decision to wean Lila at 7 months. My gut was telling me that I couldn't continue pumping at work and that Lila would be happier and healthier with formula. It was totally true. Yes, it's best for baby to be breastfed for one year. For us, is was best to wean. I'm so glad I let go of the guilt on this front and went with what was best for us! There are so many conflicting opinions about everything when you are a parent. The best thing I have done is to trust my instincts and do what is best for Lila and for us.

I've learned a lot about sleep. So much about being a new mommy involves sleep. Lack of sleep for the parents and trying to instill good sleep habits for the baby. I've read so many things about baby sleep it's kind of ridiculous. I think the combination of an easy baby, luck and research has contributed to Lila's great sleep habits. Another reason we decided to wean Lila was the hope that formula would fill her belly more and contribute to better sleep. I truly believe that the last 6 months of sleeping 12+ hours a night are doing wonders for Lila's development and temperament. It's a trade off, but one that is working for us!

I've learned that it does indeed go too fast, just like everyone said. I feel like we were just bringing Lila home and now she is communicating with us and bringing home artwork from daycare! It's absolutely amazing to see a newborn grow into a toddler. Every milestone is exciting!

I've learned to appreciate my own mom even more now. My mom and I have a great relationship and pretty much talk everyday. Now that I'm a mom I really realize how fabulous of a mother she was throughout my childhood and to me as an adult. I've learned so much from her. She is also a fabulous grandma and has been so supportive to me as I learn to be a parent. She never judges me! She just supports me and helps me and is there for me. I can only hope I will be like this for Lila even when she is "grown up"!

Finally, I've learned about pure, unconditional love. I love Neil and my parents and brother unconditionally, of course. But I never knew the kind of unending, protective, almost irrational love until I became a mom. Lila is the most important thing in my life and the biggest responsibility and opportunity I've ever had. I'm so so lucky to have her. I'm so thankful to have a healthy, happy child! She makes us laugh and makes us proud every day!

To my Lila... you are the best thing that has ever happened to your daddy and me. We didn't really know what to expect about having a child, but you are far better and sweeter and more beautiful than we ever could have imagined. The highlight of my day is when we are all home together and we turn music on and dance and laugh and just have fun. You have a truly infectious laugh and spirit! I want to freeze time and enjoy the you that you are at this moment but I also can't wait to watch you grow up. I hope you always stay curious, energetic and happy! We love you baby girl.

So yeah... motherhood. It really has been a crazy ride. There are a lot fears and struggles and insecurities but more JOY than I ever thought possible. This year has gone too fast but I'm so excited for what is to come!!!

11 months old!

2012-01-23T12:07:00.001-05:00

Just one more month before our little sweetie is 1 year old!! I truly can’t believe how many changes a baby goes through in one year. So amazing! I’m just trying to keep up!

The biggest change for Lila and for all of us this month was switching daycares. I’m so happy to report that our new arrangement is going fabulously! Lila is adjusting really well and is learning so many new things. In the two short weeks she has been going to Miss Amanda’s, Lila has tried countless new foods, gone on playdates, completed some art projects (yes, at 11 months old), and has gone on trips to the park and the library!

I feel so lucky that everything has worked out! There is nothing more important to me in this world than my sweet daughter. And because I have to go to work everyday, her care while I’m gone is crucial, obviously! Lila is making new friends (human and canine), learning so many things and getting so much attention and interaction. I think it’s going to be wonderful for Lila’s development... especially for her language and creativity! And because I know she reads my blog, a huge huge THANK YOU to Amanda! You truly saved us! Thanks for taking such great care of Lila. I don’t know how to fully express how grateful we really are for you!!!!

Weight/Height/Sizes:
At her 10 month checkup Lila was 18 lb 15 oz. and she had only gained 14 oz in 2 months!!! I was so worried but the doctor wasn’t at all. She said that since Lila is so active and has grown a lot in length its nothing to worry about. She also had a little stomach bug around that time and was throwing up occasionally so she probably lost weight that way. We’ve been trying to fatten her up, so hopefully it’s working. I weighed her on our home scale the other day and it read 19.6 lbs. I really hope she is over 20 lbs at her 1-year checkup.

Her height at the 10 month checkup was 29.5 inches. She wears mostly 12 month clothes, some 18 month jeans and tops and a size 3 shoe, but some 2s still work.

Talking:
New Words - in addition to dada, mama, baby, Lila, yay...

bye - correctly pronounced now, and sort of in a Southern accent
dog - “gob”
bottle - “baba”
num num num - is “i’m ready for food now mommy”

She talks all the time in her own language. It’s really funny to hear her inflections and to start hearing some real words in there... she still loves that lower register of her voice and rarely does anything very high pitched. She likes to growl and do her Beevis and Butthead “huh huh” laugh a lot!

She remains very social and outgoing. She loves to look around, greet everyone in the room and wave! One funny thing that she does is when two people are talking and laughing to each other she will try to butt-in to the conversation by laughing and trying to get their attention. She is a little ham!

Motion:

Not walking yet. I’ve seen her stand on her own a few times and once she came toward me and kind of took a step. I just don’t think she is ready to fully go for it yet. She would rather crawl fast!! She is very nimble and moves around very well. She can squat to get things, cruises with furniture and the walls, likes to do a down-ward facing dog yoga move, and can climb stairs very fast!

Sleeping:

Still sleeps through the night beautifully, but is waking occasionally because of teething pain. Tylenol and some cuddles worked pretty well and she goes right back to sleep.

Her naps are changing so we are in a bit of a transition right now. She is almost ready to go to one nap a day, but not quite. She still seems to need a bit of a catnap in the morning (20-30 mins) and then will take a longer nap after lunch of 3 hours or so. When she is home with us on the weekends she doesn’t nap as well as she does during the week. But, that’s pretty much always been the case!

I'd say normal for her is 12-13 hours at night 7-7:30. And 2-3.5 hours during the day.

Eating:

Still has formula 4 times a day, around 6 oz each feeding, sometimes less. We are still totally on bottles and she still wont drink formula from a cup.

Eats 3 meals per day plus snacks. Loves big girl food and feeding herself. I think we are almost completely done with baby food! I still will give her baby food veggies and prunes if she needs them. She has been doing very well with drinking water from a sippy cup and I've been letting her try out a spoon and fork. Sometimes she even gets some in her mouth!

Favorite foods -

Cheerios, noodles, yogurt, meatballs or any meat really, baked or mashed potatoes, broccoli, broccoli soup, beans, baby goldfish

Least favorite foods -

Oatmeal, eggs (yep, two of mommy’s favorites!)

Nicknames:

Lila Bean, Goof or Goofy, Sleepy Gus, Silly Gus or just Gus! And for when she is being super destructive and daring: Lila-zilla or Lila Knievel. Haha!

Funny/new things:

Can “click” her tongue and does this often

She now has 4 teeth and is working on top canine teeth, we think.

Loves opening drawers and doors. She even closed the door to my closet the other day when I was in it... she said “Bye!” and closed the door with me inside!

Also blows raspberries a lot and does spit food occasionally, which is very annoying!

Loves to throw things. We taught her how to pick up her toys by throwing them in the toy bin and now she is obsessed with throwing everything. Food, spoons, toys, socks, everything!

Still loves to crawl through small spaces (under tables and chairs, through her tunnel), loves climbing the stairs, climbing our dressers (luckily they are very heavy)

Is showing a temper occasionally. If we take something away from her, or move her away from the stairs or pantry or dishwasher , etc. she will throw herself on the ground and cry! Very dramatic.

Loves the bath, but freaks out if she gets her face in the water or gets any in her mouth. It's absolutely frightening when she gets scared in the water because I always think she can't breathe. Oh my gosh, the scariest seconds of my life. I want to give her swim lessons soon to ease both of our minds about the water.

Starting to occasionally sleep with a blanket. She moves a lot in her sleep so it doesn’t stay on for long. We dress her very warmly for bed for that reason. I think she might be ready for a “lovey” of some sort. Up to this point she hasn’t been to loving or nurturing to any stuffed animal or doll, but we are trying!

Loves to be tickled and loves to laugh!! Her laugh is like nothing I've ever heard. The BEST sound!

Imitates us a lot. Will try to repeat what we are saying or she will clap or wave or whatever after we do it.

She points at things now. Not very often but she does occasionally point to things in stores or at places like the aquarium.

Very clingy to me this month. Sometimes daddy just won’t do, it’s got to be mommy! She even yells to get out of his arms and then reaches for me and hugs me!! I’m kind of loving it, sorry Neil!

Is starting to give big wet open mouth kisses. She also blows kisses, or tries.

Loves books and reading and loves turning the pages. Her attention span is still quite short so we don’t always make it through a whole book before moving on to another one

Has a very annoying tendency to slap us in the face or grab our faces or glasses/earrings/lips/noses! I’m trying to figure out a way to discourage this. I’ve tried ignoring it, saying “no” firmly and then looking away from her for 15-30 seconds, showing her how to touch “gentle”... nothing is really working yet. She is not hitting us in a mean way, its more just out of excitement. Hopefully she stops that soon. Toddler discipline is going to be fun, and especially with this little spitfire!

She says "bye" sometimes without prompting... if someone is putting on their coat or heads for the door, she starts waving and saying "bye"! Smart girl!

Neil and I just LOVE our little girl. She is (in our opinion) the smartest, sweetest, funniest, most beautiful baby EVER! I can't believe she is ours and how much we love her. I totally get why people brag on their kids all the time. The amount of pure love and pride I have for her in immeasurable. It's just not something you "get" until you are a parent.

I just hope we are doing her justice as her parents. It's VERY difficult to be a working mom. That's something for a different post, but it's so hard to be torn in so many ways. For me, I feel like I try to do all the things a stay at home mom does, but I'm just not there during the day... does that make sense? I feel like I am just as connected and devoted to my daughter and want to enrich her and be there for her as if I were there for her during the day, but I'm not. I guess that's where good childcare comes in!

Anyway, I cannot believe Lila will be 1 YEAR OLD in a month. So exciting!

My "Get Healthy" Plan for 2012

2012-01-10T13:41:00.000-05:00

I heard on the radio this morning that 75% of people who make New Year's resolutions will give up 10 days in to the new year. Well, I'm happy to report that my plan to get back in shape is still going strong and I'm already seeing results.

While I was pregnant with Lila I gained 46 lbs. I knew that was too much but I figured I would lose it pretty easily by breastfeeding or dieting after she was weaned. Well, I am still 15 lbs over my pre-pregnancy weight and have been since Lila was 3 months old! My body has bounced back some but the weight is still there.

July 2010: Around 9 weeks pregnant here, probably around 150 lbs

January 2011: My baby shower, 37 weeks pregnant and pushing 190 lbs!

I tried Weight Watchers last fall but I really didn't stick to it. I started eating better for a while and then went back to my old ways of eating out too much, eating too many carbs and not working out. Before I was pregnant I worked out 4-5 times a week, ate pretty healthy and I was very comfortable and confident with myself.

My postpartum body and I are not friends. I try not to look at my body in the mirror. I don't change clothes in front of my husband. I try to ignore my weight. To be honest, I sort of gave up on myself! Things are not what they used to be and I've had a hard time convincing myself that I deserve the change. It's been so long since I've worked out hard and eaten really well, I didn't know where to start, so I never did.

August 2011: 6 Months post-partum... probably 165-170 lbs. Not many pictures of me these days... most get deleted :(

On New Year's Day, I watched my wedding video. My wedding day, July 1st 2006, was the skinniest I've ever been. I was around 130 lbs and a size 4. The few months before my wedding I lost 15-20 lbs on Body For Life and I felt great! I was strong, lean and happy! Of course right before my wedding ALL I focused on was working out and planning meals. Most of the wedding details were already done, so all I did that summer was lay out, work out and eat healthy.

July 2006: Wedding Day, around 130 lbs. I was so proud of my toned arms!

Seeing myself that skinny on video was a huge wake up call. I remembered how confident I was. I loved trying on bathing suits. I wore shorts and tiny tank tops and wasn't self conscious at all. I didn't have to worry about a double chin in pictures. I didn't fuss with and adjust my clothes all the time like I do now. No muffin top, no changing clothes a million times in the morning. Seeing myself at that weight was just the push I needed to make a change.

On Jan. 3rd I started a 30-day eating and work out challenge. I needed to start off strong. Small changes and adjustments just weren't enough. I needed a big change to start seeing results early and to convince myself that I really AM capable of working out and eating healthy again!

My 30 Day Challenge:

- Eat a lower carb, higher protein diet. Between 1200-1500 calories a day, 40% protein, 40% carb, 20% fat. I'm tracking my meals on SparkPeople. I'm eating a lot of oatmeal, chicken breasts, brown rice, fruit and veggies! Staying away from processed foods, no eating out. One cheat meal per week!

- Weekly workouts: At least 30 mins of cardio 3x/week, weights 2x/week. Upper and lower body plus abs and back.

So far, I've lost 3 lbs. This is probably mostly water weight, but it's such a great feeling seeing the scale going in the right direction. I've weighed the exact same for months so it's awesome to lose! I don't have any specific goals for these 30 days really, just stick to the plan and create new habits of healthy eating and working out most days.

After 30 days, I may loosen up my rules or change the plan in some way. I don't really want to be 130 lbs again or a size 4. My goal is 145-150 lbs which is much more sustainable for me. My giant stack of goal jeans are mainly size 8.

Summer 2008: Biking! I think I was around 145 here. Would love to be this weight again!

2011 was one of the best years of my life. I gained a beautiful daughter but I lost some of myself. This year, I want to get back my confidence and be proud of my body again. I hope to lose about 9 more lbs by Lila's 1st birthday party on Feb. 25! I want to look back at those photos with my baby girl and be proud that I'm making the changes I need to make. Not just for me, but for her too.

An Update Post and Daycare Drama

2012-01-09T13:44:00.000-05:00

Well, I've been a little overwhelmed with life lately!! I've got a super active 10.5 month old, a lot of deadlines coming up at my job, Neil's starting a new position at his work and to top it off - we had to find new childcare for Lila.

It's a super long and dramatic story, but bottom line is that this weekend we found out that our daycare would be closing and we would need to find something else basically immediately. Everything happened so fast that I barely had time to process it. We are finding out more and more as we talk to other parents and daycare employees, but our daycare was mismanaged financially and the daycare director was doing a good job hiding the problems from everyone. Well, it all came crashing down this weekend! Luckily, there was never any problems with the actual CARE that was provided, but business wise is another story. Apparently there are some parents and former employees that are owed substantial amounts of money and are pursuing legal action. I told you it was dramatic!!!

Well after calling around and talking to people we have found a wonderful new childcare situation that is going to be so much better!!!! I cannot tell you how excited and pleased I am. One of the girls who worked at the daycare's preschool is going to take care of Lila in her home. Amanda has a 2 year old little boy and a 5 year old daughter in Kindergarten during the day. Lila is going to get so much one on one attention. They are going to go to the park, the library for story time, on walks, get to play outside and did I mention that Amanda was a preschool teacher and is a licensed middle school teacher!? It's also going to be cheaper and on my way to work!!!

I am so pleased about these changes and it's truly a blessing in disguise. The best thing is that Lila already knows Amanda and Amanda knows Lila's routine and everything. Lila will still have a transition period, sure, but I think this is going to be so great for everyone!!

It was a crazy weekend, but I am so happy with how everything is turning out. Crisis averted!

Lila's First Christmas and it's 2012!

2012-01-03T10:56:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year! We all had a really fun and exhausting Christmas break. Lila is so funny. She had a great time being with her grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins and loved opening gifts! She played so hard and wore me out!

I had the entire week off between Christmas and New Year's. It was the longest stretch of time that she'd been home with us and out of daycare since I started working again. I loved all the time with her, but even with help every day, I was exhausted!! She is SO active, gets bored easily, and is just a ball of energy. She's a handful! Gotta love that girl.

It was so nice to get a break from work and the hustle of every day life to just hang out with family and just play with Lila. She is growing up so much. It makes me a little sad how big she is getting, but I love seeing this little girl she is becoming!

Here are some of my favorite photos from Christmas:

Lila got so many fun toys for Christmas! She got blocks, lots of Little People, a doll and doll stroller, a teapot, LOTS of books, money for her college savings account (yay!) and so much other fun stuff! Her birthday is right around the corner, so we saved a lot of the gifts we bought for February. She doesn't know the difference!

So, yeah - we had a great holiday. It is so wonderful to be around people I love and people who love Lila as much as we do. I'm so lucky to have an awesome family! My mom even came to my house for a few days last week to help me with Lila while I tried to get some organizing done around the house. We got a lot done even though we both had a bit of a stomach bug last week. Ugh!

We also had a great New Year's Eve/Day. The Youngs came to visit for the weekend and Lila and Emmett got to play a bunch! They had a great time! Emmett is 3 months younger, but they are the same size and on pretty similar schedules during the day. On Saturday night, they literally went to bed at the exact same time around 7 after their first bath together! We definitely enjoyed the adult time afterward.

Of course we only got pictures of the kids and none of the four adults!

2011 was a great year. I'm really excited to see what 2012 brings as we celebrate Lila's first birthday and continue to watch her grow. I don't plan on getting pregnant again this year, so this is the year to enjoy Lila and have fun as a family of three. Neil and I also plan to get back in shape and regain some of ourselves that got lost in our first year as parents. We deserve it!! I'm going to post about the kick off to this shortly. Happy New Year everyone!

Our Christmas Card 2011

2011-12-23T21:45:00.002-05:00

Double digits, baby! Lila is 10 months old!

2011-12-23T11:01:00.000-05:00

Lila is 10 months today! Her 9th month of life was a pretty fun one! It really flew by since it is the holiday season and everything. I just can't believe her first birthday is coming up! It's so crazy how fast time goes by when you have a child. I really am trying to enjoy this stage of life as much as I can. I'm so thankful for my little family. Neil is an awesome husband and daddy and we are just obsessed with this little girl! I've never loved anyone so much in my life!

Gotta love this little toothy grin! Still just 3 teeth! Two on bottom and one on top. Almost 2.

So yeah, my baby girl resembles a toddler more than a baby these days. She's practically walking. I'm pretty sure she will take her first steps before 2012! Maybe even before Christmas. She has been holding on to the tv stand or ottoman and looks like she wants to take that first tentative step... but so far she hasn't actually done it.

She is incredibly mobile, loves to play and talks ALL the time! It's really crazy how verbal she is. She actually says real words now! It blows my mind. She loves to clap, play peek-a-boo with anyone who will look at her, she loves people (well, not really Santa or men) and is just wonderfully pleasant to be around! Of course like every mother I think she is the cutest, smartest, most amazing little girl there is!

What she looks like when she's thinking about letting go and walking!

We don't go in for her 10 month checkup until Dec. 30th, so I don't really know her stats but I think she weighs around 19.5 lbs.

Sizes: Same as last month. 12 months in pretty much everything. 9 month onesies still work. Size 3 shoe. Size 3 diaper. We use Pampers Cruisers because they are the best deal on Amazon and I like how thin but absorbant they are. She wears Size 4 Huggies overnights at night. For size reference, sizes in the shot below: shirt and jeans are Old Navy 12-18 months. Socks are Robeez 12-24 months. My baby is so big!

Eating: We still feed her on the same schedule as we have for the last few months ~ 7:30, 11:30, 3:30 and 7ish. She still gets 4 bottles a day, usually around 6 oz. Of course we don't stick exactly to that schedule all the time but that gives us a good guideline for the day. I like the ease and structure of the schedule and she seems to like it to.

She does great with table foods but still eats a lot of purees because its easier and faster for me. But anytime I can give her table foods, I do. She eats 3 "meals" a day. She loves to drink water from her sippy cup but so far hasn't drank any milk from it. I tried once and she threw a fit!

Her typical eating schedule (food and formula):

7:30 - 6 oz and yogurt and/or fruit (applesauce or pears or pieces of banana)
11:30 - after morning nap, some kind of veggie for lunch (usually squash or mixed veggies) and then 6 oz
3:30 - after afternoon nap, 6 oz and a snack: puffs or cheerios or baby Mum mums
6 - dinner is whatever we are eating or an Earth's Best baby food that has chicken or turkey in it
7:15 - 6 oz bottle then bed!

New things she's eaten this month: lightly toasted bread with cream cheese, chicken noodle soup (she picked up noodles, chicken and veggies with fingers and I spoon fed her the broth), ravioli, small pieces of broccoli and other cooked veggies, spaghetti, multigrain Cheerios, teething cookies which are basically like a Girl Scout shortbread cookie (given sparingly, obviously!), and a bunch of other things I can't recall.

We are planning on getting her moved to the cup and to table foods only in the next couple months! I've been thinking about strategies to get some of her feedings over to the cup. I'm thinking of giving her the 3:30 feeding in a cup instead of a bottle with her snack. Then over time probably reducing that one and cutting it out, then working on the lunchtime bottle. Planning on leaving the morning and bedtime bottles alone right now...

Sleeping: She's still doing very well with her sleep. She naps better at daycare than at home - typically 9:30-11 and 1:30-3:30 with some off days in there. She has been testing us lately on the weekends! We'll lay her down for naps and she will just stand in her crib and yell for us or kick the crib or rake her pacifier along the bars! She also like to throw her pacis out of the crib and wait for us to come up and get them for her. Ugh!!

Lila with her Christmas pj's and a cream cheese mustache

I've found that I really need to just lay her down for her naps and leave for 10-15 minutes for her to really go to sleep. She doesn't always cry, she just plays in her crib and talks/yells until she falls asleep. Because I'm not with her during the week, the last thing I want to do on the weekends is have her cry in her crib... so of course I go up and rock her which usually perpetuates the problem.

Sometimes I lay her down at say 9:30, and go up a few minutes later and she's asleep. Other days it's like an hour long battle. This past Sunday she didn't take an afternoon nap at all! She was up from noon until 6! I think that is the longest she's ever been awake at a stretch and after I gave up on the nap and got her up... she played her little heart out. I ended up just making her bedtime 6pm and she slept 13 hours that night!

Lila only takes a pacifier for naps and bedtime. Not sure if they give her one for naps at daycare. She definitely likes her paci but hopefully we will be able to take it away when we're ready.

Stuffing a whole cookie in her mouth

Talking: Lila says lots of babbling sounds and some actual words. She seems to understand a lot of words and will repeat things back to us or say them when she sees an object. So far here are words that she is saying:

dada
mama
baby (when she sees any baby doll or stuffed animal. This is her most clear and consistant word)
Lila (when she sees herself in the mirror or repeats it sometimes)
uh-oh (really just uh, uh!)
bye (sounds like die, kind of creepy)
yay (when clapping)
also says mmm or yum when eating

Motion: Crazy fast crawler. Cruises, pulls up on everything, stands on her own momentarily, can get down from standing easily (not always gracefully), can climb all the way up the stairs, getting pretty good at bending down to pick up something while holding on with one hand. No steps yet!

Good shot of her new hair growth... my blondie baby! She loves these blocks. I have since moved them because she kept banging them on the glass table

Favorite Toys and Games

Tiny, her baby doll that is ambiguous in both race and gender... haha. She loves chewing on his/her hands and feet. She gets so excited to see Tiny and keeps saying "baby! baby!". Best $3.50 I ever spent.

Still loves the jumperoo and the exersaucer entertains and contains her while we get ready

Loves to crawl into her hamper and roll around in it... I'm thinking of getting her one of these for her birthday:

Loves to read books, especially ones with textures she can feel

Loves to rip paper! She could probably do that all day if we'd let her

Push walker and music table of course

Little People. Mostly just the people, not the bigger toys that go with it

Loves getting tickled, being "chased" by mommy or daddy, dancing, playing peekaboo

Anything with wheels - especially the airplane and helicopter (below)

Lila is a fun and funny little girl. She has such a good personality and is getting so big on us! I can't believe she will be ONE in two short months! Amazing!

We are really looking forward to Lila's first Christmas! She doesn't know what's coming but I know she'll love opening gifts, playing with her cousins and grandparents and seeing all the Christmas decorations. We don't even have a tree up this year! Yep, this mommy is a slacker. Well, have a Happy Holiday everyone! I'm so excited to have a whole work week off with my girl!

Meeting Santa and a festive weekend

2011-12-11T21:37:00.000-05:00

My mom was here this weekend for a short visit and we had a great time. We got some Christmas shopping done, saw White Christmas at the movie theater (love me some Bing) and took Lila to see Santa! It was actually Lila's second Santa visit. We went a few weeks ago to the mall and since that Santa was a bit creepy and the picture was not so good, we thought we'd try again!

This time was a lot more pleasant - and free! This Santa was actually at the branch campus where Neil got his MBA. It was very low key! But still no smile from Lila. I'll take it though - at least she didn't cry!

After mom left on Saturday afternoon we went to Neil's work Christmas party. We had a great time and Lila did great even though we had her out past her bedtime! She had fun and didn't act sleepy until we got in the car. She ended up not getting to sleep until 9!

I guess Christmas is here even though I'm just not in the holiday spirit for some reason. I haven't listened to Christmas music and we barely have any decorations up! Hopefully it will hit me soon that Christmas is actually here already!

Lila's many faces

2011-12-02T10:29:00.000-05:00

Lila at this age is incredibly fun, but she is extremely hard to photograph! Actually, most of my recent pictures look like this:

She is so active and aware of everything and is just all over the place! She also makes the most hilarious faces. I still haven't been able to capture her squinty toothy smile - but I did manage to get a pic with all three teeth in it!

Here are some more of her goofy faces... she makes her daddy and I laugh every day!!

Well, hello there Lila bean!

Loves her YoBaby yogurt!

Lila, what is this face...? I'm almost deleted it, but it makes me laugh so much!

Good shot of the bottom two teeth!

"Do I have something on my face?"

We are SO in love with our smart, sweet, crazy & gorgeous baby girl!

We went to see Santa Claus on Wednesday... and she definitely freaked! We did get one decent picture but we may try again with a different Santa soon. Photos to come once I get them scanned.

Lila is 9 months old!

2011-11-24T11:46:00.000-05:00

Lila turned 9 months old yesterday, Nov. 23! She is still a happy, funny, crazy little girl. She has changed so much this month. She has three teeth now. She has two on the bottom and one on top. She can crawl so much faster, is in to everything and wants to walk so badly! She loves to dance and stand up and pull things out of drawers. She loves books now and is still very analytical and curious about everything.

Weight: I think around 19 lbs
Length: not sure
Head: not sure

Sizes: 12 month in pretty much everything. 9 month onesies still work. Size 2-3 shoe. Size 3 diaper.

Eating: Same as last month: She eats around 7:30, 11:30, 3:30 and 7. Usually 8 oz for the first and last feedings and 6oz for the other. We feed her baby food and some table foods (when I have time and something appropriate to give her) 3 times a day. She eats anywhere from a few bites to a whole jar of baby food.

She's doing much better with a cup but is only drinking water from it for now. I want to really start giving her milk in a cup in the next month and more table foods. She is ready for them but baby food is so much easier and faster.

Sleeping: Still sleeping great! Mostly 7:30-7:30. Naps are usually 1.5 hrs in the morning and 2 hrs in the afternoon at daycare - but she usually won't sleep that well for me on the weekends.

Talking: She is still talking up a storm. She will sometimes mimic what we are saying. Just today she said "Lila" when we said her name. It also sounds like she says "bath" and "bed" sometimes, but who knows. It's mostly just crazy Lila sounds, which are mostly loud enthusiastic yells and hollers! She is going to be a talker, that's for sure.

Motion: Crawling SO fast. Pulls up to stand (even in the crib). Walks with her walker push toy. Cruises with furniture. Can sit back down from standing.

Funnies, Firsts and Memories:

- Dances to music now!

- Falls backward on purpose so we catch her. She loves that game!

- Loves books now!!! Will let me read to her and looks at the pages and turns them. She grabs books to play with on her own.

- Has started to throw little mini tantrums if we take something away or do something she doesn't want to do

- Neil and I went to the Bahamas for 4 nights and she did great with our parents! I missed her so much but it was a great time to get away and relax!

- She is scared of the vacuum and the hair dryer

- She loves toys! Her favorites are books, her music table, push toys and blocks!

Happy 9 months little girl!

Still here, but barely!

2011-11-15T11:33:00.000-05:00

I can't believe it's been so long since I've posted anything. We've had a very busy two weeks. Neil, Lila and I have all had a stomach bug! It's been pretty terrible. We are all starting to feel better now I think. I just got it yesterday, but luckily it's a pretty quick bug - 12 to 24 hours.

So now we are getting ready for the Thanksgiving holiday! Very excited about the next couple weeks. I can't wait to celebrate the holidays with Lila - not that she'll know what is going on! We are also going on vacation soon! Lots to be excited about and lots to do!

In Lila news, she has her two bottom teeth now! She is also cruising like crazy and looks like she wants to walk! We've also noticed some "words" that she is saying... not sure exactly what they are yet, but she definitely has some sounds that she says over and over. We *think* she is saying bath and book - but honestly, she is probably just babbling!

I'll leave you with some recent photos of our baby girl. I find myself not taking as many pictures lately because she is just into everything and always moving and it's hard to get a pic that isn't blurry.

Lila looking like a little boy in her ballcap and UK Wildcats outfit

With her new music table!

On a walk with Emmett

Halloween 2011

2011-11-02T10:38:00.000-04:00

So I'm a little late with my Halloween post, but since this blog is my baby scrapbook I thought I'd still do a quick post even though no one really cares about Halloween on Nov. 2!

We just passed out candy this year. I figure if the child can't walk then they can't trick or treat! Next year will be an adventure I'm sure. Lila was a witch for her first Halloween. She was kind of acting like a baby witch when we got home and I was trying to get everything ready to pass out candy and get her dressed. She was throwing a fit!!

But as soon as her daddy came home she was all smiles! Figures. :) Somedays she's just daddy's girl. We only sat outside with Lila for about 45 minutes or so. It started to get dark and too cold for her. So we packed it in around 6:45 to get her in the bath and in bed! I think she enjoyed looking at all the ghouls and goblins!

I loved seeing all the kids in costumes. Hope everyone had a great Halloween! Now that it's November the holiday season is officially here!

Eight Months!

2011-10-23T22:15:00.000-04:00

Lila is 8 months old today! She is so big and is just growing up before our eyes. She remains an absolute joy and the center of our lives! I really can't believe she is 8 months old. The last week of her 7th month has been kind of a crazy one...

Early in the week she had a fever and was just whiny, not eating much and just not herself... we took her to the pediatrician but at that point her temp was only 99 and she seemed a little better. She went back to daycare Wednesday and Thursday but on Thursday night she developed a rash! At the pediatrician on Friday they told us she had roseola which is a pretty harmless virus and is no longer contagious.

She's also teething (bottom teeth are almost through!) and doing a whole bunch of new things developmentally right now which on top of the illness has been affecting her sleep. This week she woke up a couple times overnight but seems to be back to normal now. She is feeling much better and was in a great mood today!

They went ahead and gave her two shots at her appointment on Friday. She seems to be doing really well. Her weight has moved down to 50th percentile probably because she's been sick and a lot more mobile. They said she is a healthy girl and right on track! The pediatrician wants us to start emphasizing solid foods more and trying to get her on the sippy cup. Other than that I think we are all good!

Weight: 18 lb 1 oz, 50th percentile
Length: 27 7/8 in, 75th percentile
Head: 17 in, 50th percentile

Sizes: Same sizes as last month pretty much. 6-9 months in mostly everything, some 12 month pants, jackets and sleepers. She is wearing a size 2 shoe, but some 3s work. Her Robeez shoes are 6-12 months. Size 3 diapers.

Eating: Well the biggest change this month is the move to 100% formula. I'm happy to report that it is working out wonderfully for both baby and mommy! I love my newfound freedom and Lila loves her bottle! She eats 4 times a day and normally has 6-8oz per feeding. She eats around 7:30, 11:30, 3:30 and 7. We are on a great schedule now and she seems to love the predictability.

We are still trying to figure out solids. She definitely likes baby food better now, but seems to want something to chew on. She moves her mouth up and down like she's chewing even if its pureed. I really think she is ready to move to table foods and chunkier baby foods, but I'm just terrified of her gagging and choking. I guess I need to get over it because baby's got to learn to eat!

We are very unpredictable with her solid food meals. Sometimes I offer 2 meals a day and she'll eat anywhere from a few bites to 1/2 the jar. Other days she doesn't get any solids and doesn't seem to care either way.

Her favorite foods: Mashed potatoes, cheese, Puffs, any baby food with turkey or chicken in it, pears, squash, sweet potatoes

This month I'm going to really try to get her closer to three meals a day. The pediatrician said this is a critical time to introduce her to different tastes and textures. If anyone has any good suggestions for meals, menus or what to feed an 8 month old, I'd love to hear it!

Sleeping: This month was a great one for sleep. She's been sick or teething the few nights, but with that exception, she sleeps over 12 hours a night from 7-7:30 or so. She's doing really well at going to sleep on her own and puts herself back to sleep in the middle of the night. She loves sleeping on her belly, prefers to be in warm footed pjs and loves her crib soother and glow seahorse. She still takes a pacifier at bedtime but usually spits it out at some point. If she wakes up at night she will find it and put it back in and that usually soothes her.

We just got a video monitor and I love it! She is all over the crib and it's so nice to be able to watch her if she fusses at night to make sure she's okay. She usually puts herself back to sleep within a few minutes. Without the monitor we'd probably go up and get her up when we didn't need to.

Her naps are still very good. She normally sleeps from 9-11 and 1-3 during the week. I'm hoping to make that second nap more like 2-4 so she can be awake more in the evening. Some days she will sleep from 1-2:30 and then she is in bed at 6:30! That's just too early for us since Neil doesn't get home til 6. I'd love for her bedtime to be closer to 7:30. During the weekend her schedule is a little different.. she usually sleeps until 8 and her naps are shorter. She still goes to bed around 7 though.

Talking: Lila loves to talk! She babbles all day long. She is so funny. She loves to say Da-da and ma-ma and ba-ba of course. She is experimenting with pitch and usually grunts when she is crawling. It will be so fun when she starts really talking!

Motion: She gets up on her knees and is just now starting to make some real crawling moves. She will usually crawl a bit on her knees and then give up and revert to the army crawl. She can cover serious ground! She can go from sitting to crawling very easily. I don't give her a ton of standing/cruising practice, but I was home with her one day this week and she is actually doing very well. She can stand for a long time holding on to the ottoman or TV stand. She totally shocked me when she moved from the TV stand to her walker toy the other day!! I guess that's cruising? She can walk a few steps with her walker but I'm very careful. I'm so scared she will fall on her face or straight backwards. I know she has to learn on her own but she has no fear and she scares me!

Developmental milestones:

- Waving and clapping a lot!

- Starting to cruise with furniture, walks a little with her walker toy

- Reaches out and up more for us

- I think she is giving us hugs now! I'm trying to teach her how to give kisses

- The other day it seemed like she purposefully said Mama to me.. but can't be sure

- Really responds well to her name, sometimes even reacts and stops when we say "no"

- Can open drawers and cabinets! Eek

- Trying to pull up...

- Paying more attention to books, seems to enjoy reading with me

- Is really enjoying music now! We love listening to Raffi songs on Youtube

Funnies, Firsts and Memories:

She loves sticking her tongue out. She sticks it out to the side when she's playing or examining something. It's hilarious, because Neil does that sometimes.

She loves to use people as a human jumperoo.. She will jump on your hip if you are holding her or on your lap. It's pretty cute.

Speaking of her jumperoo we put it on the tallest setting

Lowered her crib to the middle setting just in case she decides to pull up

Started using a big girl car seat in Neil's car

Had roseola and first real fever this month

One funny thing this month is when she saw baby Emmett who is 3 months younger.. it sounded like she said "Hey Boy"

Went to two pumpkin patches this month, saw all the grandparents and had some playdates

Here's to another great month with my amazing little girl!

Beautiful Blue Eyes

2011-10-19T12:15:00.001-04:00

My beloved babysitter Dot (basically another grandmother to me) used to sing this song to me all the time as a child. Unfortunately, Dot passed away when I was 18 and missed meeting Lila and seeing me as a mommy. I love sharing things with Lila that Dot shared with me. The original song is "Beautiful Beautiful Brown Eyes" but Dot, and now me, change the lyrics to honor those beautiful blues!

Beautiful, Beautiful blue eyes
Beautiful, Beautiful blue eyes
Beautiful, Beautiful blue eyes
I'll never love brown eyes again!

The Quintessential Pumpkin Patch Trip

2011-10-17T15:49:00.000-04:00

Lila's favorite sleeping position

2011-10-14T12:18:00.000-04:00

I've been hoping to get a photo of Lila's favorite way to sleep, and I finally got the shot this morning. Face down, butt up!

She's obviously very comfortable! She sleeps like this for most of the night. It's hard to believe just a few months ago she was sleeping swaddled in a bassinet! She keeps her pacifier close by but doesn't really keep it in her mouth the whole night. I should probably just take it away now!

Oh, and don't you love the cow print sleeper?!

Our Breastfeeding Journey Ends...

2011-10-10T16:16:00.001-04:00

** Okay, so this post is about nursing and well, boobs. If you have a problem with that or you are a dude, you might want to stop right here... **

Lila will be 8 months next week and as of now we are totally done nursing! My pump is now in the top of the closet for baby #2. Breastfeeding has been quite an experience for me and I wanted to share some thoughts as I reflect back!

My pre-baby expectations/goals/mindset:

I knew all along that I wanted to nurse. I'd read all the books and statistics and knew I wanted to try. I also knew that formula is fine too, but I wanted to breastfeed if it was possible and my goal was 6 months. My secret goal was one year, but since I knew I was going back to work I didn't know how pumping would go.

Trouble in the beginning:

Even though I talked to the lactation consultants multiple times a day in the hospital, we had a lot of issues with getting Lila to latch in the beginning. She was losing too much weight so we supplemented with formula in the hospital and then I started pumping with a rented pump as soon as I got home. We fed her with a syringe with pumped milk until a nurse came to the house and told me about nipple shields. We used a shield for every nursing session until Lila was 3 months old. They were super inconvenient but I'm so glad I had them so we could nurse. Each feeding session was 30-45 mins total with the shield. One day, I tried without the shield and she did just fine! We stopped using them cold turkey and feedings went down to 10 minutes or so.

Pump it up:

I pumped and we gave Lila bottles occasionally starting when she was a month old or so. She did well with bottles for the most part unless we stopped for a while. My first day back to work when she was 4 months old she did not like the bottle and didn't eat very much when I was gone. She slowly did better and over the next few months had 2-3 bottles of pumped milk a day at daycare. Luckily I respond VERY well to the pump and when I pumped 2-3x a day I would make more than enough for her to eat the next day.

Pumping multiple times a day at work was becoming too much so I eventually got down to once a day. I would pump about 5 oz which was enough for one feeding. So we started doing one breastmilk bottle and one formula bottle per day at daycare. Lila will NOT drink frozen then thawed breastmilk, so anytime we had to supplement and I had no fresh milk we used formula. She did fine with it and didn't really seem to care either way. I was nursing for every feeding I was with her including full time on the weekends.

Pumping essentials and favorites:

- A good pump. I used the Medela Pump in Style Advanced.

- A pumping bra. I cut slits in a sports bra at first but for work I invested in a good bra to use with the pump. This is the Simple Wishes Hands Free Pumping Bra. It was great. This is not a picture of me, as you can tell by the lack of stretch marks.

- Medela and Lansinoh pads are fine but use SO much packaging. I really like Johnson's nursing pads. They are easy to grab and use while running out the door and you don't need two hands to open them.

- For a quick supply boost I ate a bowl of oatmeal or drank Mother's Milk Tea.

- Pacifer wipes are good to use to wipe down pump parts in between uses.

- Other essentials included a supportive workplace and boss, curtains for my office and my handy dandy sign. You can click to see it larger but it says.. "Privacy Please. Pumping in Progress. I'm still working and available on email, IM or phone or will be free in 15 minutes."

The decision to wean:

There were many reasons we decided to stop nursing and pumping.

1. I hated pumping. It was annoying, time consuming and very distracting to my workday. I was tired of being late to meetings because I had to pump or eating lunch while pumping. The worst was dealing with engorgement if I couldn't find 15 minutes to pump or those wonderful days when I forgot my pump parts or the pump itself.

2. Lila was becoming super distracted while nursing, even in a dark quiet room. It would take her forever to get her to focus and eat. She was fine with a bottle but with nursing she just wanted to look around and play (ie pull my hair and grab my face).

3. Supply issues. Because we started supplementing more with formula and I was pumping less, of course my supply went down. The bedtime feeding especially I could tell that I was not satisfying her. Neil would feed her after I did and sometimes she would eat 6 oz! It was like I had no milk by the end of the day. A few weeks ago I had a cold and I was taking a ton of Sudafed. This KILLED my supply. I didn't know it could do that, but that helped make the decision easier. I went from pumping 5 oz to 1-2oz per session.

The weaning process:

Weaning was physically and emotionally SO much easier than I ever thought. I imagined a crying baby who wanted to nurse, painful engorgement or worse - mastitis or a breast infection. None of these things happened! When we finally decided to move to just formula I pumped just enough to relieve pressure when I needed to. One day the pump just didn't seem to be helping much so I came home and breastfed her. Within a few days I stopped pumping completely and breastfed her once a day or so just to relieve pressure. She didn't mind a few minutes of nursing and it didn't interfere with her normal bottle feedings.

Last week I realized that I wasn't feeling "full" anymore so I didn't even take my pump to work. I haven't nursed her or pumped in like 3 days. So I think we can safely say we are DONE.

Formula and bottle preferences:
Lila loves her bottle! She uses Avent bottles now, but she also likes the Medela ones that you can use with the pump but 5 oz bottles are too small now. We've also tried The First Years Breast Flow and Playtex nursers. Avent bottles are the best! She started with the lowest flow nipple and we've found that a 2 is still good for her. We have some 4s and she makes the biggest mess. 2s are good. The first time I ever bottle-fed her was like 2 weeks ago! I never wanted to make her confused when I was nursing so I always had someone else do it.

Lila eats 4 times a day around 7:30, 11:30, 3:30 and 7 right before bed. She eats 6-8 oz each feeding.

We started with Enfamil formula (because we had free samples) and now we've moved to Up&up Target brand formula. It's half the price of Enfamil! She does fine with it with no belly issues at all - no gas or spitting up. A big reason we wanted to breastfeed as long as possible was financial - so I'm fine with a cheap formula since she seems to like it and it's perfectly safe and healthy.

Final thoughts on breastfeeding:

Well, I'm super proud to have breastfed Lila for 7 months. I gave her the best nutrition possible for the first part of her life and I'm so glad I stuck it out. It was hard at times, but for the most part I found it easier than bottles. Especially when she was eating like 8 times per day (including overnight). I can't imagine making and cleaning that many bottles or dealing with formula in the middle of the night. It was so easy to just breastfeed her when I was home with her on maternity leave or to just put her in bed with me and nurse her lying down. If I was a stay at home mom I would definitely keep breastfeeding until a year or beyond because it is so much easier and I really hate washing bottles.

As far as breastfeeding being a bonding thing, I didn't really "get" that. I bonded with her of course, but so did Neil! Lila looks up at me more now when I feed her a bottle than she ever did when nursing. I really don't think she even knew there was someone connected to the boob. When she was done, she'd often look up at me like "Oh, you're here too!" So I liked breastfeeding, but not because it made me feel particularly "bonded" to her. I guess I did like in the beginning that I could give her something that no one else could.

But now, I love that Neil and I are total equals in this parenting thing. We are all about equality and fairness in our marriage - so I like that he and I have equal responsibility now that I'm not the sole source of food. He can feed her a bottle and put her to bed or we can *gasp* leave her overnight!

Speaking of leaving her overnight... we have a 4 day trip coming up to the Bahamas and the grandparents are taking care of her when we are gone - my parents for 2 nights and his parents for 2. I love the freedom of not having to worry about pumping! I also love that I can have caffeine if I want, or go on a REAL diet or have a drink or whatever! It's so freeing!

So, that's it. We are done breastfeeding! It was great and it was hard and now it's done!

A rough morning for the working mommy

2011-10-04T12:54:00.000-04:00

I'm a very optimistic/positive person so I hate being Debbie downer! I'm so freaking lucky to have the life and family I have. That said, I had kind of a crappy morning. (And as a reader of my blog, you don't just want to hear about the good days, right?)

Lila woke up in a great mood. She started making noises around 7:15 when Neil and I were eating breakfast, so I went up to get her. I got smiles and giggles the whole time I changed her and got her dressed. She was great when I fed her her bottle (we are almost completely done with nursing - another post entirely) and she was her normal happy self when I got her out the door with Neil to go to daycare.

So what's wrong with this picture you ask? A nice morning with a smiling happy baby?

I was only with her for approximately 20 minutes!! This was particularly fast morning, but still. Also, she goes to bed around 7 these days so that's only about an hour and 1/2 with her in the evenings. This is NOT enough time people!!! It breaks my heart that I miss so much during the day while I'm at work.

So, I cried! I cried a bit getting ready this morning and I cried some in the car on the way to work! Am I a bad mom because I have to work? Am I a really bad mom because most days I don't mind going to work? Am I messing her up completely by not being there during the day to teach her things and talk to her? I love our daycare - but I'm so jealous that the girls that work there get to enjoy her all day. That's my baby and they are getting to see her smiles and laughs, not me! They are also getting the poop and feedings and fusses too, but anyway...

I'm just in a little funk I guess. I wish I had the option to work part time or have more days off or be able to spend more time with her during the week, but I really don't. We absolutely have to have my full income (more would be nice) and frankly, I think I'm a better mom because I work. The time I do spend with her is undivided, 100%, loving/playing/nurturing Lila time. Even in the car on the way home from daycare (only 10 mins) I reach back and hold her hand or stroke her face during the stoplights! I try not to look at my phone or do much else when I'm with her! But it's still just not enough.

Another thing is that our evening routine is such a scramble because of her early bedtime. Even if I bring Lila directly home I'm rushing to fit everything in before that first "time for bed" eye rub. I knew we were pushing it last night to try to go to Chick fil A at 6:30. We made it but by the time we got home and up to her room and in pj's she was already past the point of going to bed easily. She got overtired and cranky and never really got to sleep until 8:15. Neil and I took turns patting, shushing, etc in her room for almost an hour! No fun for anyone!! If we get the timing right she puts herself to sleep in just a few minutes, no tears. So I know this early bedtime is the right thing to do, but it's just so hard to not have much time with her.

So that's my sad, poor me rant of the day. The plight of the working mom. Don't even get me started on the dishes, mail, laundry, recycling, trash, etc.. that is piling up and the tasks that never seem to get done. I know stay at home moms have it bad too, but at least you have nap time to do stuff! I know.. I know.. at least I have daily adult interaction and a full hour to eat lunch (sometimes).

So that's it. I just wanted to complain a bit! I don't have enough time with my sweet lovely daughter, and it sucks. But, tomorrow will be better. And then I have the weekend. And someday she will have a later bedtime! I know it will get better, but for now, it BLOWS!

Already the life of the party

2011-09-30T15:57:00.001-04:00

I think my daughter is already more popular in "school" than I ever was. Lila is a natural extrovert so I guess I shouldn't be surprised that she's the life of the party at daycare! I dropped her off this morning (which is rare - I usually just do pick up) and you should've seen the reaction. The other babies flocked to her and hugged her and couldn't stop talking about "La-la!"... "La-la is here!" Of course she just grinned and laughed and waved hello!

One of the daycare teachers even said, "Can you tell Lila is the class favorite?" Another one of the sweet teachers at daycare has been making bows and headbands for Lila and leaving them for me to pick up every once in a while... just because she'd look cute in them!

I love that Lila is outgoing and has a nice personality already. I really don't know what I would do with a shy child. I've heard from other moms who sort of struggle with a son or daughter that has a different disposition than they have. I'm pretty outgoing and Neil is even more sociable than I am so we are really excited to have a little social butterfly on our hands!

I had to laugh the other day when I was walking in to the daycare and a little boy who I'd never met asked excitedly.. "Are you Lila's mommy? She is so funny!"

Yep. That's me. Lila's mommy. And I couldn't be more proud!

Seven Months Old Today!

2011-09-23T12:05:00.002-04:00

Yep, little Lila is 7 months old! How is that possible? I'm sad that she's growing up but so excited to watch her grow and learn new things. This is a great age but I know it's fleeting. The other night she woke up about an hour and half after her bedtime (I think it was gas)... and I rocked her and sang to her and she fell back asleep with her little arms wrapped around my neck. I lost it! I sat there and cried! I love this little girl so much!!!

No doctors appointments this month, so no weigh in. I think she is 17.5 lbs or so. She hasn't gained as much as she normally does in a month... I might call and ask the pediatrician about that. She seems fine, but I usually expect a gain of at least a lb per month.

Sizes: Same sizes as last month. 6-9 months in mostly everything, some 12 month pants and sleepers. Size 3 diapers.

Eating: Lila usually eats 4 times a day, sometimes 5. I’m trying to slowly wean off of pumping and eventually nursing all together. Right now: I nurse her if she’s hungry overnight (hasn't happened in a few weeks), in the morning around 7:15, then she has one pumped bottle and one formula bottle at daycare, nurses after daycare and then a bedtime bottle around 7. Sometimes the last two feedings are right after another. I feed her and then Neil tops her off with the bottle. I’m down to pumping once a day at lunchtime - often while I’m eating! I'm thinking we are going to be done nursing soon as my supply is dwindling and I'm not doing much to help it. I feel SO PROUD to have nursed her for 7 months and pumped for 3. Well beyond what I thought I could do, especially with our rocky start. I'm sad to stop, but I think it's for the best!

Solids are a challenge. Lila does NOT like baby food. She doesn't like baby spoons. She doesn't really like her high chair either! I've tried different purees but she's not into it AT ALL.

Purees we've tried: Sweet potatoes, carrots, apples, pears, oatmeal/fruit mix (spit up a lot the day after so I stopped), peas with brown rice, rice cereal. Verdict - EH. Not interested! Some days she does better than others. She does the best with applesauce, but some days she will not eat at all. The girls at daycare can’t get her to eat purees either, so it’s not just me! I’m trying not to get bent out of shape about it.

On the other hand, she loves feeding herself and LOVES big people food. She still loves Baby mum mums. And this month has started with puffs and yogurt melts. She does a good job with the pincer grasp (finger and thumb) but doesn’t always get the food into her mouth successfully.

Big people foods we tried this month (mostly just a bite or two) - sweet potato fries, broccoli cheddar soup, mashed potato, shredded cheese, pieces of cracker, a bite of ice cream (!) raspberry and strawberry yogurt. LOVED!

I would go straight to table foods but she gagged and threw up a piece of sweet potato and now I’m scared to give her big pieces of food ala Baby Led Weaning. I’m trying to be patient with her and hopefully milk/formula is all she needs right now.

Sleeping: She’s dropped 3rd nap for the most part and is now taking a morning and afternoon nap with a much earlier bedtime around 7-7:30. We still have the occasional off day (usually on the weekends) where she naps around 5 and then goes to bed later at like 8 or 8:30. That works for us because then we can go out for dinner or shopping with her if we want/need to. She has been sleeping through the night for a week and a half now. Loving our newfound evening free time but I do miss playing with her and spending time in the evenings. We are also doing much better at letting her fall asleep on her own and trying to give her a few minutes if we hear her on the monitor in the middle of the night. She usually goes back to sleep after fussing for a minute or so.

Talking: She babbles all the time and is saying lots of different syllables. Da-da is still her favorite word. She also is experimenting with pitch and volume! She is so loud sometimes!! Her favorite thing is screaming DA-DA!! She is starting to say ma-ma, ba-ba, ga-ga, etc...

Motion: Still just army crawling but does get up on her hands and knees and rocks forward. It’s only a matter of time before she is truly crawling. Every time I put her on the floor she does a little bit better!

Developmental milestones:

- Waves hi and bye, but waves towards herself most of the time (this morning she was waving at me when I went to get her out of her crib)
- Loves to bang things together or uses her toys to bang table tops or whatever like a drum
- Pincer grasp, can pick up small things like puffs
- Separation anxiety has already started! She freaks when there are a lot of people around and tends to cry if a man she hasnt seen in a while holds her. She just wants mommy or daddy but eventually warms up
- Starting to clap (albeit very uncoordinated-ly)
- Finally “razzing”, she never did this until month 6
- Can drink out of a straw!!
- More sophisticated hand movements and play
- Got from a crawling position to sitting once that I saw

Nicknames:

We mostly just call her Lila, but the big nickname for her is Lila Bean! Like a lima bean :) So she gets called Bean a lot. Or we call her smiley, sleepy gus, grumpy gus... etc depending on her mood! We of course call her sweetie, sweetheart, baby girl, etc.. all the normal stuff.

Funnies, Firsts and Memories:

First Reds game! She loved it.

Started consistently "sleeping through the night" (Hallelujah!)

First time at the park. We put her in the baby swing and she laughed the entire time!!!!

Also, it was the first time someone called her a "he". She was wearing blue.. but it was a dress! Come on people!

One of my favorite memories this month wasn't really of Lila, but of Neil. We were talking before bed one night and laughing about something Lila did, and he just said (with emphasis) "I just LOVE her!" It was cute.

Lila loves crawling through/under things - last night she crawled completely under the dining room table and through two chairs. She's also crawled in between her pack and play and a chair squeezing through a tiny path. I love how adventurous she is!

Her favorite things to crawl towards are of course the forbidden things for babies - cords, the DVR, outlets, etc.. I try to baby proof as much as possible, but usually just pick her up and redirect her to a toy or something safe. Well earlier this month I was in the kitchen and could see her playing and then I looked away and then all I could see was little feet... I got closer and she was trying to grab the laptop cord but was looking over her shoulder to see if I was watching!!! We are gonna be in trouble!

Words to describe her: Funny, curious, HAPPY, impatient, flirt, physical, hyper

Future Predictions:

Lila is showing us so much personality lately, I thought it'd be fun to make some predictions about her development and what she might like in the future.

Lila at 1: I think she'll definitely be walking and already showing toddler behavior! Hopefully she's eating food and drinking from a cup by then. I also hope she has enough hair to make a ponytail on the top of her head, or at least something I can brush!

Lila at 5: I hope Lila at 5 will be a big sister! I think she will be very active whether its dance, t-ball or soccer. She is a very physical/energetic baby (always moving/kicking, very strong, and ahead of the curve developmentally) so I hope we can channel the energy into something organized!

Lila at 15: Oh lordy, I can't even think that far ahead! I hope she still lets mom and dad hug her, isn't too embarrassed by me and has a good group of friends. I have no clue who she'll be, but I can't wait to see!

Weighty Wednesday

2011-09-21T15:06:00.000-04:00

You would know I would make my first weight loss accountability post for right after my birthday weekend! All last week I stuck to my Weight Watchers points but then the weekend came, and I didn't track my points and I pretty much ate and drank whatever I wanted. And then Monday was my birthday - and how could I turn down the birthday brownie that Neil brought me? And broccoli soup from Panera sounds good... and I'll get the bread bowl, cause it's my birthday!!!

Yeah, I've got excuses out the wazoo. :)

So here is the recap. Wish it was better!

Weight this week: +1 lb

Workouts: Two. One bike ride, one long walk.

Goals:

- Keep track of my points everyday (even the weekends!)

- Workout 3 times this week, at least one strength training

- Pack my lunch and plan dinners

- Eat more fruits and veggies!

I'm hoping to have a weight LOSS to report next Wednesday!

Our Weekend!

2011-09-19T11:43:00.000-04:00

It was a fun weekend for the Miller family! Lots of family time, a date night, a baseball game, good food, great music, yummy beer and lots of time with Miss Lila. I cooled it on the Weight Watchers this weekend but I'm back at it today!

Friday night was pretty chill. I went to Once Upon a Child before I picked up Lila from daycare to get her a Reds onesie for the game on Sunday. Luckily they had a cute one that fits her perfectly for $1. Of course I walked out of there with far more than just the Reds shirt!

Neil got home around 7 on Friday night and we had Chick-fil-A and put Lila to bed. She seems to be loving her 7pm bedtime and has slept 12 hours straight a few times lately! I'm so proud of her and honestly can't believe she is sleeping that well. I know as soon as a tooth breaks through that'll be over, but I'm enjoying the sleep for now.

On Saturday morning my parents came to stay and take care of Lila for our date night in celebration of my birthday (which is today). We played a lot with Lila, caught up and went to Skyline for lunch. Lila cracked us up at lunch. The girl loves cheese! She also tried oyster crackers and baked potato. She also figured out how to drink out of my straw and had a little taste of iced tea. It's hilarious to me how eager she is to eat any food that is NOT baby food. She hardly opens her mouth for purees but if it's big people food, she is all about it!!

My Aunt Rhonda who was in town for training came by to visit in the afternoon. It was great to see her! It's been a few months since she's seen Lila, so there was a lot to catch up on.

Later in the afternoon Neil and I headed downtown for our date night. We left Lila in grandma and grand-dad's capable hands for the evening. Every year for my birthday we try to go to Oktoberfest in downtown Cincy. It is a blast and we love seeing the Klaberheads play on Fountain square. I love beer so that's a big plus too!! Neil and I ran into some friends, talked to the guys in the band, and ate brats and metts and apple strudel!

We found Brian...

And Tracey...

The only pic I took of the stage. Love my Klaberheads!

After Oktoberfest we ran over to Sy and Elizabeth's house to see Emmett and wish Sy a happy birthday as well. We usually do Birthday weekend together, so we had to go see them! We had cake and then headed off to the next part of the night...

Marc Broussard!!!

He's been a favorite since Neil and I saw him play in college like 8 years ago. He's an amazing musician with a soulful voice and awesome bluesy rock songs. We've seen him a few times live, and I was so exciting he was in Cincy for my birthday weekend! He did not disappoint. Neil and I got there about 15 minutes before he came on, which was perfect timing. We didn't care about the opening acts, only Marc!

If you don't know him, watch this video for a sample of his awesome soulful voice.

We had a blast singing along and dancing and watching Marc perform. It was an awesome night!! I loved spending time with Neil and it was truly like old times. I am grateful for my parents for watching Lila for the night! We so needed this.

We got home around midnight, I pumped and then we went to bed!

We headed to the Reds game on Sunday afternoon. Lila didn't seem to want to nap that morning (she finally did get an hour long nap) so I was worried about how she'd do. Well, this girl always surprises me. She loved it!!

I was concerned she was too young for a game, but she did so well. She loves people so she enjoyed looking around and smiling at everyone. She was very popular. She was also very accessorized:

We met Rosie Red:

Sy and Elizabeth were at the game too. My mom had never met Emmett so we found them during the game. We cannot get a good pic of these babies together! They don't cooperate very well. :)

Well, the Reds lost but we had a great time. The weather was great and we had fun. Lila fell asleep in the baby Bjorn right after the game ended and continued to sleep in the car! After stopping for ice cream at UDF (and yes, Lila got a taste) we were home!! Lila was pooped and was in bed by 6:45pm.

Grand-dad and Lila at UDF!

I had a wonderful pre-birthday weekend. I'm so lucky to have such great family and friends in my life to celebrate with. It was fun being 27, but I know 28 will be fun too!

A Playful Morning

2011-09-15T10:04:00.000-04:00

To make up for lost time in the evening due to Lila's new early bedtime, I've been trying to get some good playtime in with her in the morning!

First we rolled around on the carpet...

Then we practiced our crawling...

She gets up on her knees and rocks and throws herself forward and then reverts back to the army crawl. She hasn't gotten the hang of alternating legs yet.

This is a bad blurry picture of her but I just love this onesie!

We also played with Lila's newest toy the VTech Sit to Stand Walker. She LOVES it! She of course can't walk with it yet, but loves sitting and playing with it, or in this case kneeling. She unfortunately fell straight backwards right after this pic was taken. She was fine, but I felt like a bad mommy. :( No more kneeling.

Her absolute favorite part of the walker toy is the phone! Looks like she's been observing daddy on the phone with DirecTv...

Or maybe it was the insurance company...

In other news... Lila is thrilled it's fall (60 degrees today) so she can wear all of her cute fall jackets and sweaters!

I hope everyone has a wonderful day!

Weight Update Wednesday

2011-09-14T10:45:00.000-04:00

I used to be able to walk into a clothing store, buy a size medium without trying it on, and have a cute new top or cardigan that fit and flattered. Long gone are those days! I went to Old Navy the other day and after spending a half hour in the dressing room, I couldn't even find a t-shirt to buy! And don't get me started on pants and jeans.

I don't want to complain, but (sorry) I'm going to anyway. It sucks not having my old body or even one remotely close to what I used to have. I was far from perfect before, but right now I'm about 15 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight and 1 to 2 sizes from my previous size. I was very confident and secure with my weight and shape before. Now, I'm just not happy with where I am! I know in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter (I have a great marriage, wonderful daughter, my health, a great job, yadda yadda) but I'd really love to have my confidence and my personal style back! More of my old clothes fit me now than a few months ago, but I still have a very limited wardrobe. And since I can't really find many options that work in stores (and very little time to shop), I really need to do something about my clothing shortage and body image!

A couple months ago I signed up for Weight Watchers online and in the last month I've barely logged in and I haven't kept up with my points. I haven't gained any weight but I haven't lost any either! After my dressing room revelation I've decided to make a change.

My plan:

I will track my WW points every day for one month (my online subscription ends Oct 11).

I will make the best food choices I can including eating more fruits and veggies and less dessert.

I will workout at least 3 times per week.

I will post an update every Wednesday on my progress and goals for the next week.

I hope to lose 4-5 lbs by Oct 11 and be able to wear more of the clothes in my closet.

Let's see how this goes!!

Bedtime and naps and schedules, oh my!

2011-09-07T23:12:00.001-04:00

I've been working on a couple blog posts, but can't seem to find the time to get them done! Maybe if Neil and I didn't watch 3 episodes of Prison Break on Netflix after Lila goes to sleep I'd be able to blog. :)

Speaking of sleep, little girlie has gone to bed at 7:30 for the last 4 nights. I realize I just jinxed myself by putting it in writing... but anyway, last night she only woke up at 11:30 which worked out great since we were still up! Then she woke up at 7:30am for the day. I guess tomorrow could be completely different, but I'm just happy we seem to be on a path to an earlier bedtime and a better more predictable schedule.

After months of worrying about not having Lila on a "schedule" and beating myself up over short naps and late bedtimes it seems like our little peanut is figuring out a schedule on her own. Believe me, I've read the books. I've read (parts of) BabyWise, Baby Whisperer, No-Cry Sleep Solution, and countless baby sleep posts on Babycenter. In the end, we didn't do any form of sleep training or scheduling with Lila. We also pretty much feed on demand (within reason - if more than 4 hours goes by I feed her) and haven't done anything special other than just doing what works for her and us.

Keep in mind I'm not knocking you if you do BW or sleep training or even cry it out, but it just doesn't work for us. Personally, I don't think I could ever do cry it out. I barely let Lila fuss it out! She's not a big crier so when she does cry I know something is wrong! Anyway, after worrying and fretting about Lila's schedule for months, I finally gave up. I figured she would eventually work it out on her own when she was ready. Well she is 6.5 months and at least for now, it seems like she has!

Lila's schedule yesterday (the last 4 days have been similar):

Woke on her own @ 7:30, breastfeed, play and get ready
8am out the door with Neil to daycare
9-11am nap then bottle (5 oz pumped milk) normally would have solids here but I forgot to pack them
1-3pm nap then bottle (5 oz formula or 1/2 BM 1/2 formula I don't remember)
5:15pm pick up from daycare
5:30pm breastfeed and solids (apples and oatmeal: breakfast for dinner, haha)
5:30-7ish PLAY with mommy and daddy!!
7:30pm pjs, bottle, bed (not sure of the routine since Neil did bedtime while I was at the grocery store)
11:30pm woke up briefly for a diaper change and quick feeding then up on her own around 7:30am

I typed this up not to brag about how awesome I am for getting my child on a schedule, but to show other moms what an unscheduled baby's "schedule" might look like!

If you look at Lila's day you'll see it pretty much mimics an "ideal" schedule for 6-month olds according to BabyWise, Baby Whisperer and the like... and I really didn't do anything structured to get us to this point. All I did was follow her sleep and hunger cues, try to roughly do a "sleep, eat, play" pattern and try not to get to hung up on pushing her into a schedule she wasn't ready for. Also, daycare has done a lot to get her to sleep better during the day!

So how did we get here... and where did we start? Here is how Lila's sleep has evolved over the last 6 months or so:

Newborn - 6 weeks: No schedule whatsoever during the day, usually slept from midnight to 6.

6 weeks - 3 months: 4 naps per day including a late evening one (7:30ish), mostly slept thru the night with a bedtime of 10:30pm

3 - 4 months: 3 naps per day (45 mins-1.5 hrs - often in my arms), waking 2-3 times per night, bedtime around 9:30pm

4 - 5 months: 3 crappy short naps per day (30-45 mins), waking once per night between 3-4am, bedtime between 8:30 and 9:30pm

5 - 6 months: one 2-hour morning nap, one 2-hour afternoon nap, usually a 5pm short nap, bedtime 8:30ish with one or two wake ups (not always to eat), wakes up on own at 7:30am

Currently: two 2-hour naps, bedtime at 7:30 (usually waking once) and up for day at 7:30am.

Keep in mind on the weekends or on vacation her schedule is pretty different! Her naps are often on the go and shorter and her bedtime is usually later. I like that she's pretty flexible and can adjust if we are away from home.

So again I'm not trying to be snarky or judgmental about moms who do sleep training or parent-led scheduling. I understand that you do what works for you and all babies and all moms are different.

I just wanted to give some encouragement to the moms out there who have babies that don't seem to want to conform to a schedule or who go to bed too late or who never sleep through the night. Don't be like me and spend your precious time with your newborn fretting about naps and schedules. I wish I would've stopped worrying about Lila's late bedtimes and enjoyed her more during those evening hours. I wish I would've picked her up and held her and snuggled her instead of patting and shushing her to extend her short naps. If sleep training doesn't feel right or natural to you, go with your instincts! At least for me and Lila, a pattern emerged pretty painlessly.

Now I just need to get myself to do something other than watch shows on Netflix during my newly available evening hours.. like clean my house or read a book or actually workout! Baby steps...

Fun Weekend and Discovering Nature!

2011-08-29T11:24:00.000-04:00

We had a great but busy weekend! I didn't get a chance to take many photos because it was too crazy. Lila got to see her boyfriend Emmett on Saturday morning and spent the day with Uncle James and Aunt Jessica yesterday. She also went with us to a party on Saturday night (which apparently was a no-kids type of party - oops) but we still had a decent time and I don't think anyone was too upset to have a little baby there. She's pretty chill at this age and was in a good mood for most of the party, but we didn't get home til 11!

Yesterday after my brother and Jessica left, baby girl and I sat outside in the grass while Daddy pulled giant weeds out of our backyard flower bed.

I spread out the beach towel and Lila and I played for a long time outside. She seemed to like it out there since it wasn't incredibly sunny. I on the other hand had to take a Benadryl because I'm allergic to grass and had giant welts on my arms when I got inside! Ah, nature.

Here are some cute pics:

Halfway to One Year!

2011-08-26T23:23:00.000-04:00

Lila is 6 months old. She is so much fun. I love this age! And I know I say this every month, but she has changed so much!

Here are her stats from today's appointment:

Weight 16 lb, 15 oz ~ 75th percentile
Length 26.5 inches ~ 75th percentile
Head circumference Don't remember the measurement but nurse said 50th percentile

Sizes: 6-9 months in mostly everything, some 12 month pants and sleepers. Size 3 diapers and she's worn everything from Target brand to Pampers. I like Huggies overnights for nighttime. It's getting harder to change her diaper because she is so wiggly!!

Eating: Lila usually eats around 5 times a day. She nurses in the morning right before Neil takes her to daycare, two feedings of pumped milk at daycare (4-5 oz each around 11am and 2:30pm), nurses around 5:30 when we get home and again around 8:30 or 9. Sometimes she gets a bottle in the evening before bed and does occasionally wake once to eat at night between 3-5am.

I'm still pumping away at work! I've found that pumping twice a day is usually enough for her bottles the next day. I pump anywhere from 3-6 oz a session. If I don't make enough we do supplement with formula. Lila seems to have no problems with the regular Enfamil formula. I'm glad I have no qualms with formula because Lila won't drink frozen then thawed milk. Right now I think I'm going to continue nursing and pumping. I'm so proud to have made it to my goal of 6 months!

We started solids this month. So far she's had sweet potatoes, rice cereal, pears, peaches, rice cracker things (Baby Mum-mums) and banana. She is not very interested in eating purees and really prefers feeding herself. I'm trying to keep it light and fun and never make her eat! The nurse at the pediatrician's office said we can do table foods with her and not worry with purees. I think we'll do a little of both. I may send purees with her to daycare so she can eat some there.

Sleeping: We ditched the swaddle and the bassinet this month and Lila is happily sleeping upstairs in her own room. She was totally ready! She sleeps every which way - on her side, belly and back! She is always in a different position when I peek in at her. She goes to bed between 8:30 and 9:30 and sleeps until 7:30 or 8 with the occasional night waking. She's doing much better at falling asleep on her own. I can tell that she just wants me to put her down sometimes when I'm rocking her or holding her. She loves watching her crib soother (Fisher Price Rainforest) and of course her "friend" the glow seahorse. We are trying to introduce a lovey but she doesn't seem to like to hold on to it for too long.

She is also napping much better at daycare! She was sleeping really poorly in the baby room - like 30-45 minute naps. They moved her upstairs to a darkened quiet room and now she takes two 1-3 hour naps! She is so much more rested now and I think it's helping her nighttime sleep.

Talking: She babbles non stop!! Her favorite thing to say? Da-da-da-da!! All day long! She doesn't say mama at all but says pretty much everything else. I think when she figures out this talking thing she might not stop!

Motion: She's crawling!! She can cover serious ground with her army crawl. We have to baby-proof soon, she is in to everything. The other day I laid her on the ground and then looked back a minute later and she was across the room ripping up a piece of paper. She rolls like crazy too. I'm so not ready for this!

Developmental milestones:

- Crawling (on belly)

- Can sit for as long as she wants but can't get into a seated position on her own yet

- Feeds herself

- Drinks from sippy cup (we have to help a little bit)

- Passes objects from hand to hand

- A lot of other things!

Lila loves:

- Her ball and soft book and piano

- Bath time!

- her own reflection

- peekaboo and "I'm a little teapot"

- banging and throwing things! (toys, food, cups)

- still likes her pacifier for bedtime, but spits it out after she's asleep

Lila doesn't like:

- Doesn't have much patience for books, except for her soft one with teethers!

- Getting her nose wiped! Oh my, that's been a challenge!

- Rice cereal

Firsts:

First time at the beach and lake
First time in sand
First cold!
First solid food.
First night in her crib, first night unswaddled.
Started sitting in high chairs at restaurants and in the front part of shopping carts

It's been a really great month!

Feeding herself

2011-08-26T19:59:00.001-04:00

Just some shots of Lila feeding herself banana and baby mum mums (rice rusks)! She loves it!

25 things about me!

2011-08-24T11:18:00.001-04:00

I've seen a few other bloggers participating in Everyday Mama's "25 things" blog hop and I’ve jumped on the bandwagon. My life is pretty Lila-centric these days, so it took me a while to come up 25 things about myself!

1. I've gotten my hair highlighted since I was a young teenager. Except for a brief 2 months where I went brunette, I've always been blonde

2. I was a waitress for about 6 weeks when I was 16. I was pretty bad and gave most of my tables to the other girls so they could get the tips (they had families and I was lazy!)

3. I have a weird obsession with my Starbucks water cup. I am rarely without it and probably don't wash it nearly enough! It has a Christmas straw but I don't care

4. My husband takes care of the bills, taxes and our budget and I'd be totally lost if I ever had to do it. I have my own checking account and credit card, but that's all I keep track of (and barely do that).

5. My Starbucks orders: Skinny Vanilla Latte (iced in summer/hot in winter), Iced Decaf Americano (decaf/summer), Iced Venti unsweetened Green Tea (tea/summer)

6. My favorite store is probably TJ Maxx but I love Target too! Luckily both are minutes from my house

7. One of the things I miss the most about my pre-baby life is staying up way too late watching hours of Dexter or whatever show Neil and I were hooked on and sleeping in until 10 on the weekends

8. I've done everything a few years sooner than I thought I would... master's degree at 22, married at 22, bought first house at 23, first baby at 27... hoping this means we'll retire and move to the beach earlier too?

9. We eat at Chick fil A once a week.

10. I thought I'd be way more germaphobic with my daughter. If she drops a toy or pacifier on the ground I only make a menial effort to clean it off. Maybe this is why she still has a lingering cough after 3 weeks

11. I'm not a pet person. I especially dislike cats. I used to want a dog, but I'm so glad I didn't get one. I'm also allergic to all animals except for rabbits.

12. If my life is ever interesting enough to make a movie out of, I'd want either Claire Danes or Katie Holmes to play me and Footloose-era Kevin Bacon to play Neil

13. If I could wear flip flips 365 days a year I would

14. I love to do things sitting down that many people do standing at a mirror - putting on makeup, fixing my hair, etc.. If I could straighten my hair laying down I'd do it

15. I used to HATE leopard and zebra print and thought they were the tackiest things ever. Now I love them!

16. I love fashion and shopping, but since I'm 15 lbs heaver than normal right now I can't wear much in my closet and don't really want to buy anything new either! This will probably be my least fashionable fall ever

17. Speaking of weight, in the last 5 years I've been all over the place. I was 130 lbs at my wedding in 2006 and almost 200 in February at 41 weeks pregnant! My goal is 150 but would love to be around 145. I also used to be shy about people knowing my weight, but now I really could care less! FYI I'm 5'8".

18. Being a mom has really put a lot of things in perspective. It's made me realize that I used to care too much about a lot of stupid stuff!

19. My favorite holiday is Valentine's Day and it sucked last year. It was my due date and Lila didn't come until the 23rd. Maybe V-Day 2012 will be better

20. My most embarrassing guilty pleasure is watching Degrassi on Teen Nick. I LOVE it. I'm at least 10 years too old for this show but still watch it and have for a long time. New episodes are on every night right now and I watch them in the mornings when I'm getting ready

21. I love to read! My favorite books are memoirs of people with messed up childhoods, weird disorders and hilarious lives. I loved Glass Castle, Running with Scissors, Girl Named Zippy and anything by David Sedaris.

22. One of my favorite things to do is just sit outside in the sun and read or people watch

23. I'm so lucky to have a fabulous husband. We are so compatible and just have so much fun! It's hard adjusting to being new parents, and we've gotten on each other's nerves more than normal lately, but he is an incredible husband and father and makes me laugh every single day.

24. My favorite foods are broccoli, chicken, chocolate chip cookies and peanut butter. Not in that order.

25. My favorite season used to be summer, but after so many consecutive 90+ days and over 100 degree heat index, I'm so ready for fall!

Lila is 6 months old!

2011-08-23T09:56:00.000-04:00

6 months ago today, Lila entered the world in dramatic fashion - almost 2 weeks late and via emergency c-section!

On that day we fell in love with a tiny 7 lb 15 oz brunette:

And now, 6 months later, we are trying to keep up with a 17 lb, almost-crawling, beautiful blue-eyed blonde:

Today also marks 6 months of breastfeeding Lila! I've reached my goal of 6 months and I'm so glad I kept up with it. It was a long, sometimes hard road from the beginning. A baby who didn't latch well meant supplementing, pumping and feeding with a syringe for her first few days. Then enter 3 months of annoying nipple shields and 45-minute long feeding sessions. Now I've got almost 2 months of pumping at work under my belt, and now nursing is easy peasy and takes no time at all. I'm still undecided how much longer I will nurse/pump full time, but for now I'm sticking with it, cause I'm not sure how to stop really even if I wanted to!

I'll wait to do her 6 month update until after her well checkup on Friday, but it's been a crazy, wonderful, difficult, beautiful, tiresome half a year with my baby girl!

Happy 6 months Lila! Mommy and Daddy love you so much!

Babbles, Pilates and the scooch crawl

2011-08-18T15:36:00.000-04:00

I took these videos of Lila yesterday and thought I'd post them. Besides, I love her outfit and wanted to share her babbles (mostly Da-da!) and pre-crawling moves. She also shows some Pilates skills in the second video!

Yum! Adventures in Eating

2011-08-15T15:38:00.003-04:00

Lila had an eventful weekend. Not only is she now sleeping unswaddled! in her crib!! she ate solids for the first time! We decided to go with sweet potatoes for her first food. I think next we'll try rice cereal and then avocado and then another fruit maybe.

Loving her garage sale high chair! $4!

"What is this spoon thing?"

"Yum?"

"I'd rather finger paint than eat!"

"Okay, I'll take some more please!"

"I'll help!"

"This stuff is pretty good!"

"Nevermind... Ewww..."

"Alright, ready for the bath!"

She did better on day two. I think she liked it all in all!

First Family Vacation!

2011-08-10T12:00:00.001-04:00

We just got back from our first family vacation!

We went to Sandusky and stayed at Cedar Point.

Lots to see up above...

Cedar Point's newest ride Wind Seeker.

Lila enjoyed her first time at the beach and lake.

She had her first boat ride (but missed most of it)!

Neil and I rode some of these.

I had a little bit of beach time, loving the view of the water!

I enjoyed this view even more. ;)

Lila lounged at the beach.

And got some pool time (looks like she's ready to jump in!).

And some Mamaw time (Papaw was on the boardwalk).

On Sunday we took her into the park. I think she liked it (even though she's hot, sweaty and tired!):

Maybe another vacation is in our future after all!

Tuesday Randomness

2011-08-02T12:53:00.001-04:00

- So I redesigned the blog again. It was too dark for summer and I just felt like I wanted a change! I also wanted to incorporate the light pretty colors that I'm hoping to put into my living room at some point. Ahh. Much better. And I just like playing in Photoshop!

- I cannot believe it's August! I'm so ready for fall. It's been so dang hot here that I feel like I haven't really enjoyed the outdoors at all this summer. In years past I'd have been at the pool on these 90 degree days, but not so much with a 5 month old. I usually am so sad for summer to end, but bring on the pumpkin spice lattes and boots and caramel apples, please!

- We are going to Cedar Point for a long weekend on Friday. We are staying at a hotel in the park that's right on the beach. I'm excited to ride some rollercoasters, lay by the pool and beach, and hopefully relax a little bit. Neil's parents are coming along with us so we'll have help and someone to watch Lila. It'll be her first time at the beach!

- Lila is still getting over her cold, poor girl. She has a cough now. She's still pretty happy and doesn't have a fever so I guess she's okay. She's just a bit more clingy and wakes up more at night. I can't wait for her to get better for all of our sakes.

- Okay, so I've been watching the Twilight movies. I never wanted to get into this series, but I started listening to the first book on CD in the car and then DVR'd the movies. They are so bad but for some reason I'm still watching. At first I thought I would be team Jacob, but Edward is growing on me. I'm excited for the new one to come out this fall!

- I was a big dummy and forgot my pump parts yesterday so I couldn't pump at work for 8+ hours! It sucked! I had plans to go out after work with work friends, so it was even longer than normal. It was uncomfortable, but I made it!

- My friend Karyn is getting ready to move to England with her hubby. It's super sad! I've known her since I was in college and I'm very sad to see her leave. It should be a fun adventure for her and I definitely want to visit her next year. Ooh and she just started a blog to document her new life "across the pond"!

- I'm in disbelief that my daughter will be 6 months old soon. I can't believe she is so big. She is so funny and just a lot of fun. I think she might be starting another growth spurt. The 3 month one was terrible so I hope this one is easy. We will start her on solids this month which I am really looking forward to. I guess I'm going to start with rice cereal since its the traditional choice, but I'd rather start with avocado or sweet potatoes or something. Oh well, I've got my baby spoons, high chair, bibs and organic brown rice cereal ready to go whenever we are ready!

Everyone enjoy the rest of your Tuesday!

Oh, How Pinteresting Wednesday!

2011-07-27T16:43:00.000-04:00

Yeah. I'm still just as obsessed with Pinterest. When I get some time (oh, and money!) I really want to re-do my living room. Currently, the accent colors are rust orange and dark red. I'm wanting something lighter and fresher. I just need to swap out the accessories and mantel decor mostly.

Here are some pins that are inspiring me!

Source: homemadebyjill.blogspot.com via Lindsay on Pinterest

Source: alittlebiteofeverything.com via Lindsay on Pinterest

Source: centsationalgirl.com via Lindsay on Pinterest

Source: bhg.com via Lindsay on Pinterest

I love the beachy feel and the pale aqua, green and white. Can't wait to get working on it! I love Pinterest for projects like this. In the past I would make word documents with inspiration photos or have bookmarks everywhere. This is so much better and so much more fun!

What are you pinning? Are you obsessed like me?!

Five months old!

2011-07-23T19:08:00.002-04:00

I've been saying that Lila is 5 months old for a couple weeks now, but she is just now turning 5 months old today. She's such a big girl now and has changed so much! She is so much fun and watching her develop is a joy! I can see so much of my husband and I in her but she is definitely developing a fun little personality all her own.

We don't go in for a well baby checkup until 6 months but since she's been a bit sniffly and stuffy the last few days we took her to the pediatrician this morning. She just has a little cold. No fever, nothing icky in her chest or ears, so she should be okay in a few days. She's just very snotty and snorty and isn't sleeping as well. Anyway they did weigh her today and she's almost 16 lbs, my big girl.

Weight 15 lb, 15 oz, Last month: 14 lb, 14 oz
Length 26.5 inches, Last month: 25.5 inches
Head circumference 16.5 inches,Last month: 16 in

Lila's biggest milestone this month was starting daycare. I'm happy to report that other than short crappy naps, Lila is adjusting beautifully! The girls at the daycare seem to really love her and a couple of them have said she's their "favorite" even though they are not supposed to have favorites! I loved to hear that. She is a happy little girl and I'm so thankful she is enjoying daycare. It's still pretty tough on me to be away from her. I miss her a lot during the day and I hate that I don't get to spend as much time with her anymore. But it is what it is.

Diapers: Just bought size 3s. Her size 2s still fit but she keeps pooping up the back of them. I'm tired of stain-treating and sometimes throwing out cute onesies because of blowouts.

Clothes: 3-6 month onesies and tops/dresses, 6-9 month sleepers and some 9-12 month pants

Eating: Lila nurses in the morning, after I pick her up from daycare and about a half hour before bed. She still wakes up occasionally in the middle of the night and I often feed her in bed. Pumping is going okay, although I kind of hate it. It's uncomfortable and awkward and I hate washing pump parts and bottles. I can pump anywhere from 3-5 oz a session and I try to pump 3 times a day. I'm scared that I'm not able to keep up with Lila's eating though. If she is away from me for 3 feedings she usually eats 5 oz each time. We occasionally supplement with formula at daycare if I didn't pump enough the day before. Also, work is slow now, but as the semester picks up I don't know if 3 sessions a day is doable or not.

Still no solid food/baby food for Miss Lila. She doesn't seem that interested yet and I feel like I want to wait a bit. I did let her lick on a piece of melon the other day and she kept grabbing for it! I've let her play with a sippy cup and "practiced" a bit with a spoon. I'm getting more and more intrigued by Baby Led Weaning (BLW) or more accurately Baby Led Solids or Feeding.

Fellow blogger Tracy from Sharp Moments has shed some more light on this for me and has definitely piqued my interest! The basic idea is you forgo spoon feeding and purees (which kinda gross me out) for baby directed feedings. You give them large chunks of food to try and they explore the new tastes and textures on their own. I plan on doing another post about this sometime soon. But for now, we are delaying solids but may start this month. If we do I will definitely post about it!

Sleep: Lila is still sleeping swaddled (sometimes with one or both arms out), in a bassinet next to our bed. We are all ready for her to move to her crib, but her nursery is upstairs and our bedroom is downstairs. The upstairs level of our house gets pretty warm, so I don't want her to be upstairs swaddled.

So, yeah. At some point we need to just bite the bullet and try an unswaddled night in the crib upstairs and see what happens. Her bedtime is around 8:30 or 9 and she sleeps until 7 or 7:30 usually waking up once to eat around 4. Sometimes she'll sleep the whole night maybe a couple times a week.

She is napping unswaddled during the day and tends to take 2 or 3 half hour to 45 minute naps. I really want her to get better naps at daycare but I don't really know what the solution is to that. It's loud and bright there and they like the little babies to sleep in the baby room instead of upstairs in the pack in plays as a SIDS precaution. I'm hoping she just gets used to the daycare atmosphere soon and starts napping better. On the weekends with me she usually will take a 1-2 hour nap in the morning and two 1-hour naps in the afternoon.

Developmental milestones:

- Lila just started sitting on her own yesterday! She can sit for about a minute on her own before she starts leaning and tips over. Sometimes she can catch herself, sometimes not so much. If she has a toy in front of her she can kind of lean forward and will sit for a while. She's still wobbly, but definitely a sitter!

- Rolls from front to back and back to front with no problems at all!

- Is trying so hard to crawl!! She has got the motion down but is not quite coordinated enough to actually move much. But she reaches for toys out of her reach and kind of scoots to get them

- Still loves standing and can hold on to furniture and stand for a few seconds

- Loves playing with toys so much more this month! She especially loves her play piano and music toys, baby games on the iPad, stacking toys, mirrors and anything with lights

- She reaches out for toys and other objects now, hasn't reached out to me when I pick her up yet

- She's so rough with her toys. She bangs the keys on her piano, whips around any rattle or doll and kicks any hanging toy. It makes me laugh.

- No teeth yet, but definitely teething. Sometimes the drool just pours out!

Lila loves:

- The jumperoo! It's by far her favorite thing.

- Grabbing my hair! Might be considering a shorter haircut...

- Laughing and smiling. She's the happiest baby! She even smiles when she's crying sometimes! Crazy girl.

- Her teether that vibrates. She says "mmm" when she bites down on it!

Lila doesn't like:

- There is not much this girl doesn't like... I'm sure she'll have more opinions when we start feeding her real food.

Firsts, Funnies and Memories:

- Biggest first was not being with me all day and going to daycare! She's done remarkably well.

- Lila somehow picked up "growling" this month. She's kind of stopped doing it now, but it was quite funny while it lasted. We think grandma did it. ;)

- First bedtime away from mommy and/or daddy. Neil's parents successfully put her to bed when we went to Louisville for a concert one evening. We were back around midnight.

- Lila went to two outdoor concerts

- Hung out with her buddy Emmett again this month. They were only awake and happy at the same time for like 15 minutes!

Next month should be a fun one for little Lila. My mom and dad are visiting next weekend and then on the first weekend in August we are going to Cedar Point. It will be her first time on the beach! It's a lake beach, but still, there is sand! Neil and I are excited to ride some rides at Cedar Point. I was pregnant last summer and even though we had season passes to Kings Island I couldn't ride anything except the lazy river!

Anyway, hope everyone has a great rest of the weekend!

What I'm Loving Wednesday

2011-07-20T10:35:00.002-04:00

Things I'm digging right now:

- Iced Nonfat Lattes in my all time favorite holiday Venti Starbucks cup! I usually just drink water out of it, but lately I've been treating myself to the occasional latte. YUM!

- Having a bit more time to read. I'm listening to Twilight in the car on the way to work (so far, EH), but loving Tina Fey's new book Bossypants. Also "reading" Happiest Toddler on the Block, Parenting Beyond Belief and What to Expect in the First Year.

- Pinterest. OBSESSED.

- Saying "Oh My Word" instead of "Oh My God/Gosh". OMW is the new OMG. And it's not a religious thing, I just think it sounds cute. ;)

- Air conditioning. It's dang hot here in Ohio, so I'm sticking indoors in the A/C as much as possible!

- Weight Watchers! I think it's working since I weighed myself this morning and I've lost 2 lbs!! Love the WW iPad and Android apps too.

- Family time! My mom is coming to visit on Friday and Neil is not working Saturday morning! YAY!

- And of course, this little chick:

Lila's 4.5 month photos!

2011-07-18T11:32:00.002-04:00

Our friend Joe Danzer did an awesome job on Lila's photos! I love them! He came over yesterday with the disc of pictures and 2 giant printouts! Love that guy!

Here are some of my favorites:

And some outtakes because they are sometimes more priceless than the best photos!

See.. she doesn't ALWAYS smile!!

Daddy and Lila - what a star! I brought the glasses as a prop for her to hold, but they did look pretty cute, on!

Love the unedited drool and the scratch on her forehead! She loves to stick out her tongue!

Can you tell we have our hands full?! Love her!!

Thinking Ahead and Loving Pinterest

2011-07-15T11:59:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I know I'm a planner but this might be a little much even for me. I'm already thinking about Lila's first birthday party and she's not even 5 months old! I don't even know if she's going to have much more than just a family birthday either. But regardless, it's fun to gather ideas and think about it.

Pinterest is great for gathering ideas for tons of stuff, but I especially see its utility in planning kids parties, baby showers and weddings. I also love it for ideas for future photo sessions for Lila. Follow me on Pinterest! Maybe I'll keep up with it more that way!

If I were truly planning Lila's 1st birthday today I think I'd do kind of a vintage-y theme. Her room is so bright and most of her clothes are vibrant too, so I think a party with softer colors would be a fun change.

Here are some of my recent pins for ideas for her 1st birthday:

Source: etsy.com via Ally on Pinterest

Source: flickr.com via Lindsay on Pinterest

Source: iammommy.typepad.com via Lindsay on Pinterest

Source: karaspartyideas.blogspot.com via Jenn on Pinterest

Source: thetomkatstudio.com via Lindsay on Pinterest

I love collecting pretties and planning ahead! It's so much fun (and addicting)!

Quick update / Random Thoughts

2011-07-12T13:40:00.000-04:00

All I have time for is to throw out some random things in my head - I wish I could do a nice tidy cohesive post, but maybe later this week.

- We had a great weekend! I enjoyed being with Lila and we had a lot of fun playing, running around shopping and spending time together as a family of 3! I really do savor every moment of the weekend now that I'm back to work.

- Speaking of being back to work, I took yesterday off and had another taste of being a stay at home mom again. At noon, I was like, "This is so easy compared to working! Stay at home moms are such whiners!" But by 5 I was ready to go back to work the next day! Haha. It's such a joy to be around Lila but not so much when she's teething/whining/fighting naps!

- Sunday our friend Joe took some photos of Lila. He's an awesome photographer (he did our maternity photos) and it was so fun to get some new shots of Lila. Here's a preview:

We also finally ordered Lila's newborn prints and they came in the mail yesterday! We got a great deal at Shutterfly and got a ton of prints, including a couple huge 16 x 20 ones!

- Sunday night Neil and I had an awesome date night! His parents came in to watch Lila while we went to Louisville (2 hours away) to see Brian McKnight. We've been fans forever (Neil has every one of his albums) and it was an awesome concert! It was basically just him and the piano or guitar. He is an incredible musician and singer and we just had a great time!! We went to Hillbilly Tea in Louisville for dinner and it was so yummy and different! Glad we tried it. Lila did great with her grandparents! She ate well and went to bed about when she normally does. It was the first time being away from her at bedtime, but she did GREAT!!

- I'm feeling better about having Lila at daycare. I wish I could be at home a day or two with her during the week, but I think we will slowly get into a routine that works for us. Thanks for all the sweet comments and advice, ladies!

- I started Weight Watchers online yesterday! I needed to do something but don't want my milk supply to be affected. They adjust your points if you're nursing, so I thought this would work for me! We'll see how it goes!! I get A LOT of points, but somehow still went over yesterday. It was a wake up call to see just how careless my eating has become. I'm pretty sure I'll lose weight just because I'm going to be more careful about my food choices.

- I'm also doing the 30 Day Shred. I've done it before I was pregnant and thought it was pretty easy, at least Level 1. Well, so far Level 1 is kicking my tush!! I love it though. It feels good to be sore and I love getting cardio and strength in in one 25 minute workout. I'm not doing it every day, but will try to do it at least 3 times a week.

Alright, hope everyone has a fantastic day and week! Neil's class is cancelled tonight so we get to be home together this evening! Yay!

Does it get worse before it gets better?

2011-07-08T11:20:00.000-04:00

I've told friends struggling with the sleeplessness, fussiness and the newness of the newborn stage to "Wait. It gets better. Then it gets worse. Then it gets better again!"... (Then repeat for child's entire life).

Does the same apply to being a working mom?

I was doing so well, but today was rough. The tears showed up about 5 minutes into my drive to work. A little Top 40 radio cleared that up, but it is truly hitting me this morning.

Am I really going to be away from my precious girl for 8 or 9 hours a DAY?! I'm leaving her to be fed, changed, played with and loved on by someone else! I'm missing her and missing out and IT SUCKS!

Last night/this morning Lila woke up at 3 and 5:30am, I'm not sure if it was hunger or the storms or what, but we all had interrupted sleep last night. When she stirred at 6:30 I plucked her from the bassinet nearby and put her into our bed to feed her and snuggle. Soon she fell back asleep. She looked so peaceful and beautiful I could've just sat there with Neil and looked at her all day.

I suddenly had a horrible feeling in my gut: I have to leave her today! I have to wake her up, get her dressed and send her to daycare and go to work! Honestly, if I had any vacation days left I probably would've taken one to just cuddle and hang out on the couch.

I can tell the days at childcare are wearing on her a bit. Even though she is happy there, she's not napping well and I think she's a bit overtired and overstimulated from her new life away from home.

It's wearing on me too. Four consecutive work days away from Lila is taking its toll on my heart and I don't even want to know what five in a row feels like. Thank goodness its Friday and I have two whole days with her this weekend.

Here's hoping it gets better. It will get better, right?

Happy at daycare and mama's adjusting

2011-07-06T13:11:00.001-04:00

Today is Lila's second day at daycare and she seems to be doing very well! It's a large in-home daycare that is certified as a daycare and is also a pre-school. They could have as many as 18 kids at one time (but hardly ever do) and there are 6 staff members including the director (it's her home).

So far, it's really great. The girls that take care of the babies are so sweet and they couldn't get over Lila's happy disposition! Apparently she just smiles all day at them and laughs and smiles at the other babies. I'm sure she fusses too but they didn't tell me about that! She's eating well (three 4 oz bottles of pumped milk yesterday) and napping. Naps are short (30 minutes to an hour) and yesterday she napped 4 different times. I think her naps will get longer and less frequent when she adjusts to not being swaddled at naptime. They are willing to swaddle her, but we are trying to wean her off of it! I'll let them deal with the short naps. :)

The other thing I love about this daycare is that they text me during the day!! It's wonderful. They let me know how she is doing, if she's eating well, her mood and they send me the occasional photo as well!

The daycare texted these to me this morning:

The second one is blurry because she was bouncing so much!! She loves to jump! I'm so happy she's having fun and transitioning well.

I'm adjusting to the life of a working mom. It's hard but is definitely the right choice for me. I say that like it was a choice... this was always the plan! We need two salaries and health insurance, thank you!

Pumping is going well, I'm feeling productive and happy at work and feeling more and more like my old self but still like Lila's mommy. I love my time with Lila in the mornings and we have plenty of time at night. I am exhausted by the end of the day though!! How do people do this with more than one child?!! How do single moms do it? I can't imagine. Other than feeding her a few times, I did not sit down until 9:30pm which is right when Neil got home from MBA class! Luckily these Tues/Thurs night classes are over in 4 more weeks!

My evening went like this:

5:30 - Home with Lila and my 5 bags of stuff (cooler with empty bottles, laptop, diaper bag, work tote bag, cooler of milk pumped from the day)

5:30-6 - Feed Lila (I love nursing her after being away from her all day!), change diaper, "talk" about our day!

6-6:30 - Quick trip to Target, Lila loves shopping!

6:30-8 - Try to hold, entertain, talk to and play with Lila while I attempt to do the following:

- Wash bottles
- Prep bottles for the next day
- Make and eat my own dinner (frozen cheesy rice/broccoli mixed with leftover chicken - hey it worked)
- Prep tomorrow's lunch
- Thaw chicken for next night's dinner
- Clean out fridge
- Gather up trash for Neil to take out when he gets home
- Wash/dry/fold clothes, make sure I have something to wear for next day
- and a bunch of other mundane things I forget now!

8 - Feeding

8:15-9 - Play, cuddle, love on Lila, gear her down for bed, diaper change, PJ's

9 - Bedtime for Lila (we are working on getting it earlier..)

9:20 - She's actually asleep for good. (I had to go in and soothe her back to sleep a few times)

9:30 - Sit down. Neil walks in the door!

It could be much worse. I'm happy the day went so well, actually. This morning went much more smoothly and I got to work at a decent time. I'm still getting used to this working mom thing, but I'm confident I can do it!!

Any other working moms out there? Any tips for me? How do you fit it all in?

A Hello to some new visitors!

2011-07-05T09:57:00.015-04:00

I'm participating in the 2nd Annual Commenting Challenge over at Jenna's Journey. I LOVE reading blogs but rarely comment. And I so love getting comments, so this is a good challenge for me to make sure I'm leaving comments for others! I also love finding new blogs to follow, especially mommy and baby blogs!

I wanted to tell my new visitors a little about myself since many of you are stopping over for the first time.

The basics: I'm Lindsay, I'll be 28 years old in September and I have a wonderful husband Neil and a 4.5 month old daughter Lila. We live in Ohio and I work at my alma mater Miami University as a librarian.

That's us when Lila was about 2 weeks old. I would've had a shower and gotten highlights had I known I was going to be in these photos, but looking back I'm so glad I had the photographer take them. Yeah, I look like a frazzled new mom, so what!? I cherish these early family pictures and I already can't remember when she was that small!

Random things about me:

- Neil and I just celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary on July 1st. That means 5 years ago today we were sitting blissfully on a beach in St Thomas enjoying our wonderful 2 week long honeymoon!

Neil and I at our outdoor wedding ceremony on July 1, 2006.

- I love fashion and shopping. I actually started this blog as a fashion blog but I was pretty sure it would evolve into a pregnancy and baby blog. And it did!

Yep I took great photos of myself, haha.

- I am a musical theatre nut. I love Broadway musicals and I've performed in a lot of community theatre productions and was always on stage in high school. My favorite role I've played is Laurey in Oklahoma because I grew up watching that musical and loved singing all of the songs on stage.

Neil and I in a high school musical production of "Me and My Girl"... Did I mention Neil and I have dated since high school?! We are 17 and 16 in this photo!

- Today is my daughter's first day in daycare and I'm so nervous! I hope she is doing okay and I honestly can't wait to go and pick her up! I'm writing this during my pumping break at work and it's only 10am... still a long day to go. I'm hoping she has a great day and I'm the only one that's a wreck. ** I just got a text from the daycare! She's doing great. Eating well and napping and very happy! I LOVE that they text me during the day! **

One of my favorite pics of my daughter Lila!

- I loved being pregnant (and wrote weekly updates on this blog!) and want another child someday but I'm still a little scared to go into labor and give birth again. I had an emergency c-section after Lila's heart rate kept dipping lower and lower at one point it was 50! Turns out she was completely wrapped up in the cord. She's completely okay but I'm totally traumatized! You can read her birth story (in two parts) here and here.

I think I was around 40 weeks pregnant here. I had Lila at 41 weeks and 2 days!

- I am obsessed with baby names and naming trends. It's a weird little hobby. I post on baby name forums (yes there are others like me) and have thought about what I would name my kids since I was maybe 13? And by "thought about" I mean I've made lists and lists of first and middle name combinations and sibling names that go together and thought of nicknames, etc... Lila was actually pretty easy to name because Neil only really liked the name Lila out of my top choices. And yes, I've already started "naming" our future second child.

- I LOVE my smart phone. Neil and I both got HTC Evos right before Lila was born and it has been the best thing ever. I felt so connected after she was born and I was able to upload pics, post to facebook and the blog. It was great for those loooong feeding sessions in the beginning and really kept me sane in those first few weeks!

That's a bit about me. I look forward to reading everyone's blogs. I'd love to read your comments and have you follow along with me!

Frozen Lemonade Pie

2011-07-04T20:09:00.006-04:00

We had this yummy treat at a Memorial Day party and just had to make it for the 4th of July! It's so simple and refreshing on a hot day. It's perfect for cookouts and for people like me who hate to cook or bake when it's hot!

Ingredients:

- graham cracker crust, homemade or store bought
- quart of vanilla ice cream, softened
- 1 container Cool Whip (we used Sugar Free), thawed
- 1 can frozen lemonade concentrate
- a little bit of fresh lemon juice (optional, but makes the pie more tart and lemon-y)

All you do is combine the ingredients in a large bowl and pour into the crust and freeze for at least an hour. Be careful not to overflow the crust. We had extra, so my resourceful husband used the Cool Whip container to save the excess and froze that too.

We've only tried plain lemonade, but I really want to try this with pink lemonade and limeade. Enjoy!

Happy 4th!

2011-07-04T16:46:00.001-04:00

Hope everyone has had a lovely weekend! I had to get Lila in this outfit and take a pic before the 4th is over!

We've been lazy today: slept until 9, watched a full movie (first time in 4 months), had naps, grillin' leftovers and haven't even left the house!

Lila's first day at daycare is tomorrow... I'll post about it I'm sure!

Then and now

2011-07-03T14:31:00.006-04:00

Lila at 3 days old and today at 4 months, 1 week! She was so tiny - about 7 lb 4 oz. Now she's probably close to 16 lbs! Gotta love that little grin.

My First Day Back

2011-06-30T08:48:00.004-04:00

I was completely prepared to be a nervous, blubbering, teary-eyed mess on my first day back to work. I thought I'd cry my whole way driving in, every time I thought about her or looked at her picture, or when a coworker asked about how she was doing.

Well, I was FINE! I almost feel guilty about how completely fine I really was.

A few factors probably came into play in the success of the day:

1. My mom and Neil were both home with Lila (daycare starts next week & Neil had a day off)
2. It was a gorgeous sunny day outside!
3. It's summer in the college town where I work: very few students, easy parking, relaxed office atmosphere
4. I've been at home since February 3rd and pretty ready to come back!

Of course I missed my little girl, but I really liked being back at work. I have a list of things to work on, people to talk to, things to catch up on and to boot - a peaceful drive to work, a beautiful campus to walk around in and my quiet office with a lockable door!

Pumping went very well. I'm so lucky to have an office of my own, a pretty flexible schedule, a great breast pump and a boss who is incredibly supportive of nursing and pumping (she breastfed her daughter for 2.5 years)!

Lila did okay too unless Neil and Mom are lying to me and letting me think she had a great day! Apparently other than short naps, her only issue was not eating very much! She only ate 4 oz the whole time I was gone!! I only really was away for two feedings so it's not as bad as it sounds, but still, I expected her to eat 4 oz per feeding and maybe still be hungry and need more. I left two 4 oz bottles and an emergency bottle of formula if needed. She only ate 2 oz per feeding of breast milk.

We think she either is not used to the bottle, was not as hungry because of the big transition, did not like the taste of thawed milk, or was just biding her time until the "real thing" came home!

Whatever it was it did not affect her nighttime sleep last night. After eating when I got home at 4:30 and again at 7 and 9 she was out for the night and slept through until 6am!

We'll see how it goes today. She has freshly pumped milk to drink, a full night's sleep and a loving grandma to take care of her! But with one day under my belt, I'm very very hopeful that Lila and I both will be fine with this transition. I had plenty of time with her after I returned to work (but got NOTHING else done because I just wanted to hold her and play) and although I did miss her and think of her often at work I was not SAD.

Next week when she starts daycare will be another transition for me and for Lila. I hope it goes just as well. I'm so appreciative of my mom for coming up and taking care of Lila this week while I get the hang of working again and get used to pumping. It is a wonderful thing!!

Lila is 4 months old!

2011-06-22T17:02:00.011-04:00

Our little beauty is 4 months old! She looks so big and grown to me now.

Lila has really started developing a personality and has changed so much. I just adore her! We had her appointment on Wednesday. Other than the shots, she was very good and happy the whole appointment! My mom went with me since Neil had to work. My mom is awesome! She has been an amazing grandma and such a supportive mom to me as a new mom. Such a huge support and help in every way! Anyway, here are Lila's stats from the appointment:

Weight - 14 lb 14 oz ~ 75th percentile Last month: 12 lb, 11.5 oz (Over 2 lbs in one month!)
Length - 25.5 inches ~ 85th percentile Last month: 24 3/4 inches
Head circumference - 16 inches ~ 40th percentile Last month: 15.5 in

Lila's growing well and the doc was very pleased with her health and development in general! Go Lila! We have had such a fun month. Lila went on her longest drive/trip ever, played in her baby pool, swam in a big pool, went on some play dates and had lots of fun with mommy, daddy and grandparents! More on all that later, but here are her other updates:

Diapers: Still size 1, because I accidentally had Amazon ship me a box of 192 size 1s by mistake. They still work but she's beyond ready for size 2s.

Clothes: 3-6 months onesies, rompers and tops. 6-9 months dresses and pants and some 12 months leggings and pants!

Eating: We are still nursing, and I'm loving it! We happily ditched the nipple shield around 3 months and it's SO much better. She went from 30-45 minute nursing sessions to around 12-15 minutes! It's an amazing difference! She gets the occasional bottle of breast milk or formula so I can stash some milk in the freezer, but most of the time we are nursing. She eats about every 3-3.5 hours during the day. I'm going to pump when I return to work next week! I hope it goes well. The pediatrician said we could introduce solid foods anytime, but I think we are going to wait for another month and then start on rice cereal.

Sleep: Lila was waking 2-3 times a night for the whole month of June. On Memorial Day she slept 11 hours straight and since then she's up every 3 hours or so! It was so exhausting and baffling. I chalked it up to a growth spurt but thought she might be waking out of habit, not hunger. Well, the eve of her 4 month birthday she slept through the night (8 hours) and has since then. She goes to bed around 9 or 9:30pm and wakes between 6-7am. She is still in the bassinet but is almost too big for it. We want to transition to the crib soon.

She naps pretty well during the day for the most part. I've been holding her sometimes for her naps because I'm sad about going back to work and just wanted to soak her in. Now I'm trying to put her in the bassinet or pack in play. We are trying to wean off the swaddle because she busts out of it and clearly doesn't like being confined any more. The problem is without it she has a hard time settling for sleep and just rubs her eyes and scratches her face! We are working on naps with no swaddling and eventually hope to get her night sleep unswaddled as well. We are using a Halo Sleep Sack now because it zips and will not bunch around her neck if she escapes it. On a good day she takes two 1.5 to 2-hour naps and one shorter nap around 5pm.

Developmental milestones:

- Has really found her voice and loves to laugh, squeal, coo and babble
- She found her feet! She loves playing with them and has figured out she can play by kicking toys and can suck on her hands at the same time
- She gets so excited sometimes she flaps her arms and hits her belly!
- Can shake a rattle, pick up nearby toys on her own, loves to examine hanging toys by holding them and turning them slowly
- Rolls from belly to back easily, can also roll from back to belly but just started doing it
- Still sitting and standing with support
- Can stand holding on to furniture for a few seconds
- Smiles all the time!! I LOVE her smile. It's so big and goofy
- Everything she touches goes in her mouth, but no teeth yet! Just a lot of drool!

Appearance:

- Getting some more hair growing in, definitely blond
- She's sporting some scratches on her face due to some fast growing nails and trying to get rid of swaddling
- Eyes are still getting lighter
- People say she's looking more like me
- Sometimes I dress her kind of like a boy because I'm starting to favor simpler comfy clothes for her! I still love her in pink and bows but it's just easier to have her in a white onesie and comfy pants or sweatpants

Lila loves:

- The Jumperoo! She LOVES the toys and she loves standing up on her own! She jumps with alternating legs like she's running. Sometimes she gets scared of the floating frog!!

- Looking at herself in the mirror! She smiles and tries to hug herself
- Other babies and kids
- Water!! Both bathtime and the pool. She splashes now!
- Music and anyone singing to her
- Her grandparents! She loves my mom and laughs so hard for her! She also loves granddad's beard and of course loves playing with Mamaw and Papaw Miller too. In fact they are coming tomorrow!

Lila doesn't like:

- The bumbo
- Getting dressed
- Headbands
- Bright lights or sun

Firsts, Funnies and Memories:

- First trip to Western Kentucky to see family (6+ hour trip). She did great! It was awesome to see my family and have them meet Lila!
- First time in a bikini and in the baby pool and regular pool
- We took her a couple times to the childwatch at the gym, first time someone other than family watched her
- Has started reaching out and grabbing people's faces. My favorite thing is when she gently touches my face and just looks at me and smiles. I melt!
- Sometimes cracks up laughing in her sleep
- We can see a lot of personality coming through. She's very happy and giddy and a little bit of a daredevil.
- Finally took her infant insert out of her carseat
- Her feet and neck are ticklish
- She tries to suck her thumb but I'm trying to discourage it. The other day I caught her sucking BOTH of them at the same time!

Mommy update

I'm doing well. I truly love being a mommy. It's so hard sometimes but so much fun too! I think I REALLY fell head over heels in love with Lila this month. I've always loved her of course, but the first couple months were so hard and I was still recovering physically and kind of missing my old life in a way. She was so little and really didn't do much! I loved her and was very protective of her of course but now that I'm seeing her little personality I'm just enjoying her so much more. I'm really going to miss her when I'm at work!

I only have a few days left with her at home before I go back to work. I think it will be okay. I'm sad of course but it was always the plan to return to work so I just have to suck it up and do it. I think I will enjoy a little more balance in my life and to regain a little of myself back. I tend to over-plan and over-think a lot of things and I was a little obsessive about Lila's schedule and naps and development while I was home. I am happy to turn over some of that to daycare and really just enjoy her and play and teach her things when we are together. I'm also happy to get a little "me time" back and start getting back into my normal groove.

I can't wait to see how Lila changes and grows in the next month. She'll probably be crawling!

Some phone pics:

What a difference a year makes...

2011-06-08T17:21:00.005-04:00

Last year on June 8th, 2010 we got one of these:

Haha, followed by many more just to be sure! To be clear, those are from LAST YEAR. There will be none of that again for a few years, people!

Fast forward to this year on June 8th, 2011, playing in her baby pool!

So lucky to have our little girl. Motherhood is so much harder and better than I imagined. Lila is WAY more special and wonderful than I ever could have hoped for. She's truly the joy of my life! I can't believe she is already 3 1/2 months!

Already 3 months old!

2011-05-24T12:50:00.006-04:00

What a month we've had! It's been a busy one and Lila has been growing like crazy! She turned 3 months on Monday and we just went to her 3 month checkup today. Here's the update:

Weight - 12 lb, 11.5 oz ~75th percentile Last month: 11 lb, 4 oz
Length - 24 3/4 inches ~90th percentile Last month: 23 in
Head circumference 15.5 inches ~50th percentile Last month: 15 in

What a big girl! She is still long and skinny relatively speaking, but I'm so so happy with her weight gain and growth this month. I feel so much better about my milk supply and I know now that she is getting what she needs. We didn't see a doctor today, just a nurse, but she was very pleased with Lila's growth and said that she's perfect! The nurse was impressed with Lila's sitting and standing abilities (supported by me of course) and said that she seems really strong and advanced for 3 months and that she'd likely crawl and walk early. We shall see! Lila has always been strong and sturdy so I'm not surprised.

Diapers: Size 1, but I'm thinking we need to move up to size 2 because of some recent up the back blow-outs! Lila poops every 1-2 days and they are pretty nasty explosive ones! Luckily it's so loud we always know when to run to the changing table to change her! The girl can poop.

Clothes: Almost all 3-6 months. She can still wear some 0-3 onesies and tops, but because of length, even some 3-6 month pants and jammies don't really fit anymore! I love all the summer clothes she can wear now. I'm still getting used to dressing her for warm weather. I'm got so used to layering my winter baby up - she seems so naked in just a onesie or romper.

Eating: Because we had a rough long growth spurt this month (from 10.5 to 12 weeks old) her eating has been all over the place. She was only eating every 3 hours during the day but during the spurt it was every 1.5 or 2! Now we're at about every 2.5 hours. I'm pumping more and she's getting a pumped bottle of milk most nights. In order to build up my stash for work I'm really trying to find ways to get more milk pumped. One thing we are trying out is giving her one bottle of formula before bed while I pump and freeze that milk for after my return to work. I didn't really want to give her formula, but I think this a good solution to make sure I give her breastmilk for as long as possible. We are concerned about the next growth spurt totally wiping me out. This way we give her a little formula now to hopefully make it through the growth spurt with enough breastmilk to spare. I really want to give her mostly breastmilk for her first year. We've already made it 3 months! Woohoo!

Sleep: Again because of the growth spurt her sleeping has been totally jacked this month. During the spurt she was not napping much during the day (3 or 4 30-45 min naps), didn't want me to put her down and was waking up 2-3 times a night. Before and after the growth spurt she is pretty much sleeping 7-9 hours, usually from 10:30-6:30 or so. I've been really working on getting her to go to sleep on her own for naps (as opposed to sleeping in my arms or falling asleep after nursing). This is going pretty well but she does wake up every once in a while and I have to soothe her back to sleep. She naps in her bassinet mainly and usually takes 4 naps a day around 1-1.5 hours. Sometimes she'll get a 2-hour nap in the morning, but not often. I've tried in earnest to get her bedtime earlier than 10:30, but it was just not working. I tried as early as 7pm and also tried 8 and 9. She just thought it was nap time and woke pretty shortly after. We are working on gradually getting her to an earlier bedtime. A lot of formula-fed babies are sleeping 12 hours at this age. I know I should count my lucky stars for the 8-9 hour stretches we get sometimes, but I just want to make sure she's getting enough sleep.

Developmental milestones:

- "Talking" alot more, coos and laughs!
- Grips and holds toys, can move them from hand to hand
- Can play independently for longer, 10 minutes or so in the bouncy seat or swing
- Rolls over from belly to back, but has only done this a few times
- Can roll from side to side
- Can sit up very well with just a little propping.
- Smiles spontaneously at random stuff and when someone smiles at her
- Bears weight on legs and LOVES "standing"
- Loves sucking her hands, fingers, toys and drools ALOT. I guess this is early teething.
- Doing better at tummy time. She doesn't just mash her face into the blanket and cry anymore! She prefers naked tummy time! I probably do about 20 minutes a day in 5-10 minute chunks.

Appearance:

- Her eyes are getting bluer and bigger
- Still looks like a mix of Neil and I, Neil's eyes and eyebrows and my lips and maybe my nose
- Is mostly a baldy but has some blonde hair on top and sides and darker hair in the back
- Has really pretty fair skin. I get comments all the time about how pretty her skin is!
- She is smiling so much more but has her grumpy times too. Her smile is beautiful!
- Has some dry patches on her skin and head is kind of flaky too. They gave me lotion to try at the pediatrician.
- Her legs are starting to fill out and she has little fat roll legs! So cute.
- She has big hands and tiny feet! I call her "toddler hands" because her hands are huge. She can, however, still wear newborn shoes and her feet haven't really grown much at all since birth

Lila loves:

Standing up
Clocks and light fixtures
Her changing table and chair with the farm animal toys
Car rides and her carseat
Sucking on her hands and fingers
The book "Goodnight Moon"
Being out of the house, she seems to really like Target (lots of stuff to look at on the ceiling)
Other little kids and doesn't seem to mind dogs
Bath time and naked time
Eating! Nursing or any type of bottle - as long as its food she doesn't care.

Lila doesn't like:

Lotion/massage time after bath
Being delayed to eat
Going to bed early
Being out in the sun/hot weather (even with a hat)

Firsts, Funnies and Memories:

- Lila met her new best friend a few days ago! Emmett Thomas Young, born May 19!
- During Lila's growth spurt she cried so much she got hoarse! It was ROUGH! Luckily my mom came towards the end of it to save me!
- I was singing "I'm a Little Teapot" to Lila and she stuck out her arm for "here is my spout".. coincidence, but so funny!
- A funny memory: during a particularly bad blowout poop I had an air freshener up to Neil's nose and we we taking turns changing her but gagging too! It's a lie that breastfed baby poop doesn't smell. It does.
- When we went to visit Sy and Elizabeth and baby Emmett they had friends there with a little boy who's almost 2. Lila loved him! She laughed and laughed and didn't care when he poked her right in the eye. I was a little scared for her to be around big kids but it was just fine.
- We went to Neil's grandmother's 90th birthday party last weekend. It was so fun to see all of the family together. It warms my heart to know that so many people love our little girl!

Lila is doing just great and I'm so fortunate to have another month off of work with her. To be honest, I'd be ready to go back now if I had to, but I'm glad I was able to take an extra month. I'll be off a total of 4 months, and even though I'm so sad to leave my baby girl, I'll be happy to get back to work and have adults to talk to, quiet lunches, time to myself in the car and a renewed sense of purpose other than as a permanent milk supply! I love being a mom but I don't think I'm cut out to be a SAHM (Stay at home mom). I'd love to work an abbreviated workweek or work part-time (with full time pay - ha) but both of us working and Lila in childcare is the best option. I'll sure miss her though when I go back and I'm sure it will be a hard transition.

I'll post some photos of Lila in her 3rd month a little later. Happy 3 months little girl!

Breastfeeding, tv and mommy guilt

2011-05-11T12:00:00.002-04:00

I read an article the other day about how bad it is to watch tv (or text or play on your phone/ipad/laptop) while you breastfeed. Immediately, the mommy guilt crept in. I must be a terrible mother because I don't constantly gaze lovingly at my child while I'm feeding her.

Well, I do gaze at her and stroke her face and talk to her and all those things... But I'm pretty sure if that's ALL I did while she eats I'd either go nuts, quit breastfeeding or both.

I've actually done a whole host of things while nursing: putting on makeup, reading a book, writing blog posts (like this one), talking on the phone, eating countless meals (practically all of them) and yes, catching up on the DVR and watching old episodes of Grey's Anatomy on Netflix. I actually don't know when or if I'd ever do any of those things other than when I'm feeding the baby.

There is a ton of stuff to worry about or feel guilty about as a parent. Even when you go with your gut and do all you can there is still that fear that you might be failing and will screw up your kid for life.

Even just with feeding the baby, moms are made to feel bad if you formula feed, or don't breastfeed long enough or you breastfeed past a year and a half or 2 years. I sometimes feel guilt about going back to work, for not at least trying cloth diapers, for not having my baby on a good nap schedule, and on and on...

Well I'm trying to release the guilt. I'm doing the best I can and I'm doing what works for me and my family. So, I will continue to multitask while feeding Lila, but I know these moments are fleeting so I will definately try to gaze at her just a little bit more.

Random thoughts

2011-05-06T16:19:00.001-04:00

- So Neil has had a break from school the last couple weeks and I'm getting spoiled having him home every evening! He starts up again the 17th for his last 12 weeks of grad school. We'll both be so ready to have our evenings back to "normal"... Well our new normal!

- Lila is going through a growth spurt or a big developmental transition I think. The last couple days she has been fussier, clingier and hungrier than normal. I hope this passes soon!

- Breastfeeding is kind of wearing me out. Mostly due to the recent growth spurt. I know it's best but it's so exhausting physically and mentally. I'm worried about my supply, trying to pump enough to make a stash for work and Lila is starting to eat like a newborn again: every 1.5 - 2 hours for 30-45 mins at a time. Neil has been feeding her a bottle of pumped milk at night just to give me a little break, but she usually still wants the real thing. I so admire women who do this for 1-2+ years but admittedly I also envy people that do formula! I think this is just a rough patch, though. I'm still soldiering on!

- It's garage sale season! Last year after we found out I was pregnant, we got tons of baby stuff at yard sales and craigslist. We went to some last weekend and got a high chair, a take a long swing, 2 sun hats, a bunch of pants for Lila and a few toys too. I love bargains!

- Our bestest friends Sy and Elizabeth are getting ready to have their baby soon. The due date is May 10 and the gender is a delivery surprise. I'm so excited to meet this little girl or boy and Lila is thrilled to have a baby "cousin" to grow up with. Hurry up baby, I want to cuddle a squishy newborn again!

- We have found a daycare for Miss Lila. I was dreading this decision, but I think we found a good place. It's an in-home daycare about 10 min from our house. I have a great feeling about it and there is even another baby girl close to Lila's age starting at the same time. She'll have a little friend! I return to work on June 29. I'm both excited and sad, but having a good daycare has eased my mind a lot.

- I started running again. Well I have once, haha and it was definately a run/walk combo! I'm doing the "couch to 5k" program to work my back up to running 30 mins in a row. I started on week 3 of the plan and I'll hopefully stick with it. I'd love to do the Redlegs Run again this year. Last year I was 5 weeks pregnant and didn't know it yet! Hopefully running will help me lose some more baby weight... I'm still about 15 lb from my pre-pregnancy weight and none of my clothes fit!

Okay enough random thoughts for now!

Lila at 2 months

2011-04-26T14:18:00.011-04:00

Lila turned 2 months on Saturday! She has changed so much in the last month!

Weight - 11 lb, 4 oz ~ 40th %
Length - 23 in ~ 60th %
Head circumference - 15 ~ 50th %
Lila is still pretty average in size, just a bit on the longer/leaner side. She's definitely not a chunky, fat-roll kind of baby.

Diapers: Still size 1, and we still go thru 8-10 a day!

Clothes: 0-3 months and 3 month sizes and some 3-6 months. Some of her sleepers are getting too short and she's outgrown her Swaddleme wrap which was for up to 12 lbs.

Eating: Lila has spaced out her feedings to about every 3 hours during the day and hasn't had many crazy cluster feeding sessions this month. She's still doing really well with nursing and has also taken a bottle a few times from Neil or my mom. I'm trying to pump and start a freezer stash but I can't seem to find the time to pump, wash bottles etc while I'm trying to take care of her during the day. I only have 4 oz in the freezer, ha ha! Better get going on that.

Sleep: She is really hitting her stride with sleeping, usually around 7 consecutive hours a night from around midnight - 7am. Sometimes she falls asleep early (like 10:30) and will sleep til 6 or so. She still has her nights where she wakes up at 3:30 or 4 ready to eat, but goes right back to sleep. In the next few months I'm hoping to try to get her to sleep earlier (and 8:30 or 9 would be awesome!) just to make sure she's getting enough sleep and to give Neil and I some time together in the evenings. I also want to try to start doing a short bedtime routine with her. She's still sleeping in our bedroom in her bassinet, and still enjoys being swaddled.

Developmental milestones:

- Started really cooing (mostly Ahh sounds, but some Oohs and some consonants like Gaa)
- Rolled over from belly to back (just once and it took her forever!)
- She's smiling a lot and early in April started giggling! It's the best sound ever!!
- We do tummy time everyday and she doesn't really like it, but she can lift her head pretty well and get up on her knees for a bit
- She can sometimes put her own pacifier back in her mouth when it falls out
- She can bear some weight on her legs while we hold her up
- Seems to recognize mommy and daddy's voices
- Seems to be seeing a lot better and for longer distances
- Has a much longer attention span and awake times
- Looks at and bats at toys

Appearance:

- Her eyes are much bluer, hair on top much blonder. She still has dark hair in the back
- Still looks like a pretty equal mix of me and Neil. Of course some people say she looks just like me, or just like Neil!
- Her hands are so big now! Her feet really haven't grown that much. She can wear newborn shoes (0-6 weeks)
- Baby acne cleared around 6 or 7 weeks. She still has her splotchy moments, but looks so much better!

Firsts:

Trip out of town - To Portsmouth (2 hour drive) at 5 weeks. Slept the whole drive and did great staying at my parents' house!

Restaurant - At almost 6 weeks we went to a casual restaurant with Elizabeth and Rachel. She slept the whole time!

Store - 6 weeks old to Target

Favorites:

Okay I realize I'm a crazy mom, but I really do think she has some favorites or preferences already!

Songs - I sing to her all the time! Our favorites: "Edelweiss" from Sound of Music, "Goodnight my Someone" from Music Man, "Tonight" from West Side Story, "You Are My Sunshine", "Beautiful Beautiful Brown Eyes" (changed to BLUE of course), "Someone to Watch Over Me" by Gershwin, "Baby Mine" from Dumbo, "As Long As You're Mine" from Wicked... Can we say Broadway Baby?!

Color - Can she even see colors yet? Haha.. it's probably pink!

Animal - I swear she reacts more to cows than any other animal in books, etc..

Blanket - Pink and white striped one from her Great Grandma Miller

Lila loves:

Her carseat, and car rides
Being rocked
Her pacifier (didn't like it in her first month)
Ceiling fans and light fixtures
Bathtime and naked time until she gets cold!
Being held
Music!
Daddy's laugh
Her grandparents
Taking walks

Lila doesn't like:

Tummy time
Shots!
Missing her naps
Being cold
Her swing (side to side)

She's really a joy. I understand now what people mean about how amazing it is to be a parent. I love her unconditionally and wholeheartedly! She is such a good baby and makes us laugh all the time. It's not always easy or fun, but I really I'm trying to cherish every moment with her.

My life has changed so much since she's arrived. In some ways I miss how it used to be: the sleep, the alone time, my old body, eating at a leisurely pace, and especially time with Neil. But, it's getting easier and better everyday and totally worth it. She is growing up before our eyes and time is flying by! I can't wait to see how she changes in the next month. Happy 2 month birthday Miss Lila!

Two months:

Happy Easter!

2011-04-25T04:22:00.001-04:00

Lila had a great first Easter. She got to see her all of her aunts, uncles, cousins and got to love on all four grandparents. We went to church with Neil's parents for Easter, had an Easter lunch with my family, and got to show off Lila to a bunch of people. I just wish the weather would've been nice! But we really had a great weekend!

Here are some photos from the last few days:

2 Month Appointment Update

2011-04-22T10:32:00.001-04:00

Lila had her 2 month well baby check up on Tuesday. She had to get 4 shots, poor girl. She did really well! Only cried for a bit and then fell asleep. I did give her baby tylenol beforehand so I think that might have helped.

Lila is now 11 lb 4 oz and 23 in long. She's still pretty average in size and growing well.

We saw the pediatrician that I don't like as much. She is fine, just not as pro-breastfeeding and more rigid than Dr Peck. She encouraged us to try to move Lila out of the basinette in our bedroom into her crib. I'm so not ready for that. She also said to start a bedtime routine and try to put her down sleepy but not asleep and to try not to nurse her to sleep.

I still think 2 months is a little young to be able to self soothe to sleep, but we are going to try it a little. Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do to get a baby to sleep, whatever it takes!

I know we need to work on her to go down on her own for naps in preparation for childcare. Speaking of that I have two promising leads! One near home and one near work. As much as I'd like her to be near me during the day, I think closer to home will be better. That way Neil and I can share drop off/pick up duties, we can still take her if I'm home sick, and I can run errands before I pick her up. The place is also right next to our peditrician, the hospital and Kroger! Im going to check it out on Monday.

So Lila is 8 weeks, almost 2 months old! We are home visiting the grandparents for Easter. I'll be sure to post pics of Lila's Easter outfit this weekend!

Sleeping, eating and freedom!

2011-04-15T17:48:00.010-04:00

So my last post was 2 weeks ago (I’ve been a little busy!) and let me tell you life with a 5 week old and life with a 7 week old could not be more different! Lila has changed so much, has done so many new things and is in a lot of ways a very different baby. All for the best, I might add.

Sleep...

If you read my musings on life with a 5 week old, there was of course a lot of talk about sleep. Lila was only taking tiny catnaps during the day and going to bed around 11:30, waking once or twice at night and then up at 6 or 7. Since then, Lila has (knock on wood) been pretty much sleeping through the night. Pretty impressive for a breastfed baby! I’m talking in the last week, she (and Neil and I) have had 6-8 consecutive hours of sleep at night, mostly 11ish to around 6.

We still have an off night every once in a while when she wants to eat at 3am, but for the most part she sleeps a pretty long stretch. Last night, she slept from 10:30pm to 6:15am! Now, we’ve in no way tried to train her or make her sleep through the night. I really didn’t mind the middle of the night feedings all that much, actually. So I’m giving her all of the credit! I think she just loves sleeping. I’m pretty sure she gets that from Neil, who can sleep 9 hours, eat breakfast, and then be ready for another nap!

In addition to her great nighttimes, she’s been sleeping better during the day too. She still has some days where she rarely naps or only takes 20 minute catnaps, but she’s been better at taking longer naps during the day. Today she’s had 3 or 4 pretty good naps. She's sleeping now, so I can write this post! I also got a shower earlier. Score!

Lila sleeps swaddled in her bassinet at night and during the day she sleeps mostly in my arms after a feeding, in her carseat or on the couch. She’s a great back sleeper but I try to get her on her side sometimes to avoid a flat head! She also loves sleeping on Neil's chest.

Another thing I’ll mention regarding sleep is something that helps Neil and I rest much easier. A lot of parents spend time worrying about their baby during the night, and are constantly checking their breathing, especially during the peak time for SIDS, 2-4 months. We are using a Snuza Halo movement monitor at night. It clips to her diaper and monitors her breathing and movement. If the monitor detects no movement after 15 seconds it vibrates and it alarms after 30 seconds. We’ve had a couple false alarms because of me putting it on her wrong, but overall we love it!

And... feedings.

Lila is a great eater and we’re thinking she’s about 11 lbs. We’ll know for sure next Tues. at her 2 month appt. She’s still exclusively breastfed and it’s still going well. I’m trying to pump more to start a reserve for my return to work in a couple months. We also need to start giving her a bottle occasionally to make sure she’ll take one when she has to! She’s doing less of the cluster feeding at night, but pretty much eats every 2 hours during the day. Sometimes she’ll go 2.5 or 3 but not very often.

Getting out of the house = Happy baby and happy mommy

My pediatrician recommended keeping her inside and away from crowds until 6 weeks of age. It’s been so great to have the freedom to get out of the house with her. We’ve gone to Panera, Chick-fil-A, Target, Walmart and my favorite place, TJ Maxx. It makes such a difference getting out for a walk and some kind of outing everyday. For the most part she does very well as long as I make sure to time things well and bring what we need. I have still not nursed in public yet, but did in the car while Neil ran in a store. She loves being out and having something different to look at. She usually sleeps in restauants and stores but I’ve had times where she just sits there looking content while I shop!

I've also greatly appreciated both of our sets of parents coming up to give us a break from the baby. My mom was here yesterday and watched Lila while I shopped on my own. I felt like myself again! Mom was also here early enough on Wednesday so I could go to Zumba! I haven't done it forever and forgot how fun it is!

Lila has had a lot of milestones and firsts this month, but I’ll save those for next week's monthly update!

And of course some pictures from the last couple weeks:

Where did my newborn go?

A day in the life with a 5-week old

2011-03-30T12:00:00.001-04:00

I wanted to try to track how much Lila is actually sleeping and if there is actually some kind of predictability with our day. Although I do write down all her feedings, I thought it'd be fun to record what we do all day (24 hr period). This day is pretty normal except Neil is in class from 6-10 and I don't have any visitors lined up for tonight. So it's all me today!

11:30-12:15am - feeding and down for the night in her bassinet

2:15am - feeding and diaper change

3am - back to sleep in bassinet

6:30am - up right before Neil's alarm, time to eat!

7:15am - Neil holds her while I pee, fill up my water cup, and make a quick bagel

7:30am - screaming and crying, I change her but thats not the problem. Lila is apparantly still hungry. Another quick feeding!

7:50 - 10am - morning nap for both of us

10-10:15am- I run around like crazy until she wakes up. I change clothes, bathroom, laundry, grab a snack, etc

10:15am- diaper change, go up to her room to change out of pjs

10:30am - feeding

11:15 - 11:40am - diaper change, play, sing

11:45 - 12:15 - Looks tired. She falls asleep in my arms. Try to put her down in swing. Nope. Crying! Pick her up. Falls asleep in arms again after rocking her. Put her down in bassinet. I make a lean pocket for lunch. (I eat a lot of things that can be prepared and eaten with one hand). She's awake and crying 2 minutes later!

12:15pm - feeding. I eat my "lunch", catch up on emails, texts, watch Dvr'd show from last night.

1:30pm - Finally, she's asleep!

1:40pm - Nevermind. Awake.

1:50 - 2:30pm - cold walk outside! Lila is sleeping!

2:30 - 3:30 - still sleeping in carseat inside the house

3:30 - 4:45 - diaper change and feeding, music and playing

5-5:45 - took a drive in the car, got dinner, nap until 7

Feeding every hour 7, 8,and 9! Diaper changes and short naps in there too. Kind of losing my mind at this point!

10pm - Neil home! Mommy gets a bathroom and snack break! Lila pretty fussy.

11 - 11:30pm - Neil trying to get Lila to sleep. We use the 5 S's. Swaddling, put her on her side, swinging/rocking, shushing/white noise... The fifth S is sucking, a la a pacifier. Unfortunately Lila prefers me to a pacifier.

11:50pm - Asleep in bassinet.

11:51: Awake and screaming. One last quick feeding.

Midnight - Asleep on Neil's chest in bed. Eventually he moved her to the bassinet.

Wow. What a day. She did well overnight. Only waking to eat around 2:30. Then she slept until 8am! I even got to shower!

And now it's another day!

One month!

2011-03-24T19:45:00.004-04:00

I can't believe my little girl is one month old! She is getting so much bigger and is doing more and interacting with us. We had her 1 month appt. today and she did very well. She had to get a shot, which was hard for me, but she did okay! She screamed like crazy, but the nurse said feeding her immediately after would help and it did. I'll plan to do that again when she gets her 2 month shots.

One month!

Lila at one month:

Weight - 9 lb, 11.5 oz ~ 60th %
Length - 21.5 in ~ 50th %
Head circumference - 14.5 ~ 50th %

Lila is very average in size and very proportional. I'm so happy about her weight gain. She lost 10% of her weight in the hospital and was down to 7 lb 2 oz, in less than a month she's up 2.5 lbs? Amazing! She's a great eater, and I'm proud to know all the hard work breastfeeding is really paying off.

Diapers: Size 1, we prefer Pampers swaddlers sensitive

Clothes: almost all 0-3 months. Some newborn stuff still works if it has stretch

Eating: Lila eats 10-12 times a day. She is exclusively breastfed on demand and since I don't have much time to pump she's not been taking a bottle much at all. She cluster feeds in the evenings, which means she's pretty much constantly attached to me from 6 or 7 until she goes to bed. This is the hardest thing about nursing! It is so exhausting!

Sleep: Well, it's pretty hit and miss. Sometimes she gives us 4 hours in a row at night. Other times she's up every 2-3 hrs. She naps during the day here and there, nothing very predictable though. She loves being swaddled and can sleep anywhere but prefers mommy or daddy's arms.

Nicknames / what we call her:
Pretty girl, little girl, pretty, fussy butt, sleepy gus, sweetie

Milestones:

- started smiling at 2.5 weeks
- loves walks and riding in the car
- likes the bath as long as she doesn't get too cold
- getting better at tummy time, can lift and turn her head
- she's liking the swing and bouncy seat more
- can focus on faces and follow an object
- loves music! Especially Glee
- developed acne around 3 weeks, poor girl
- i've started reading to her. She likes looking at black & white illustrations
- does well with other people holding her, especially her grandparents

Things to remember/things that make us laugh:

- she's a noisy eater and sleeper - she snorts and grunts and farts!
- she is the most comfortable when whoever holding her is absolutely uncomfortable
- I love when she wakes up and watching her stretch. She makes the greatest faces!
- she spits up on Neil pretty much every time he picks her up
- she did poop on my lap this month, though!

- sometimes she does a little chirp or bark sound

- she has two distinct cries. Screaming and a fake cough/cry

Some photos:

Birth Story: Part 2

2011-03-23T16:21:00.006-04:00

This is Part 2 of Lila's birth story. Read Part 1 first!

So.. after multiple issues with Lila's heart rate, the doctor said we had to have a c-section. She gave me the news while Neil was out of the room.

Apparently when Neil was in the cafeteria eating breakfast, he got a bad feeling and rushed back up to the room. Well, he returned to a nurse handing him his scrubs and hat for surgery. I think he probably felt as scared and overwhelmed as I did. I remember him reassuring me that it would be okay, and that we would meet Lila soon.

The rest is really fuzzy, but they wheeled me into the OR, redosed my epidural, put my arms straight out at my sides and started with the c-section. Neil was right there telling me everything was okay, and the midwife from the OB practice was reassuring me as well and telling me what was happening.

I couldn’t tell when they were cutting me, but I could tell when they were pulling her out. I felt crazy pressure and tugging. Then, at 10:13 AM she was out! They didn’t show me her right away like they do on a Baby Story. I actually didn’t see her until about 10 minutes after she was born. Anyway, right as they got her out, everyone in the room started going crazy about how tangled she was in her cord. Apparently it was completely wrapped around her: multiple times around the neck, body and through the legs. They unwrapped her and took her to the table to get her cleaned up.

Lila scored an 8, then a 9 on her Apgar test and I finally heard her cry! It was an amazing feeling knowing she was here and okay. Neil kept me updated on what they were doing and how she looked. They were still stitching me up and everything so I couldn’t see Lila. Neil was taking photos and video the whole time, thankfully. I remember him telling me the height and weight and that she had hair! I was shocked about that.

Finally, I got to see my baby girl. It was an amazing moment to see Neil holding her and to finally look at her face. I really did love her instantly.

We were in the hospital for 3 nights, which was no fun, but I needed the recovery time and it was really helpful to have the help of the nurses and lactation consultants. I felt pretty crappy after the surgery. I had so much fluid pumped into me and I was swollen and sore. The first day or so I still had a catheter, an IV and these compression things on my legs. The first night they made me sit up in a chair for a ½ an hour and that was really hard! Neil was amazing through the whole thing. He literally changed every diaper and did everything for Lila and for me for the first few days. He helped me get to the bathroom and shower for the first time after surgery. He was incredible!

Now, a month later, I’m feeling really good. I can drive, go up and down stairs and I’ve been going on daily walks with Lila in the stroller. My recovery has been great. My incision is healing well, and I can honestly say it is less of a concern to me than my stretch marks!

Sometimes I feel a little robbed of my birth experience and a bit jealous of other ladies who were able to deliver naturally. But on the other hand, I’m really glad I didn’t have to push her out and recover from that and possibly have a harder time with a vaginal birth. My doctor said for the next child I will definitely be able to have a vaginal birth if I want, but honestly, I might have another c-section since it’s what I know and it really wasn’t that terrible, all in all.

The most important thing is my sweet daughter arrived safely and is perfect and healthy! We love her so much and I couldn’t imagine life without her.

Newborn photos

2011-03-17T22:48:00.008-04:00

We got Lila's newborn photos back! They turned out so well! We are very happy with them. To anyone in the Cincinnati area, check out Krysia Photography.

Here's some of my favorites:

3 weeks

2011-03-16T15:18:00.001-04:00

Well, little Lila is 3 weeks today. It's been a blur! She's doing great. Fussy still in the evenings, and its sometimes hard to get her down to sleep at night, but it could be worse.

We've tried Mylacon and gripe water for gas. Not sure if its working, just tried the gripe water last night. Admittedly, we've let her sleep in bed with us a few hours here and there. Usually on one of our chests, but sometimes in the bed. I can never sleep though cause I worry about the blankets or rolling over on her.

One thing I've realized in my short tenure as a mother is the importance of doing what works for you and baby, even if its something you said you'd never do, or something your friends or family might think is wrong or weird. Going with your gut is the best thing to do sometimes.

Breastfeeding is still going well. Lila eats about every 1-3 hours during the day and usually gives me a 4-5 hour break at night. Its exhausting and harder than I thought, but I'm so glad to be able to do it. I pump once or twice a week, but she doesn't seem to like the bottle much.

Lila has some baby acne, which isn't very pretty but should go away on its own. It showed up the day after her newborn photos which was great timing. The photos are great, by the way. Can't wait to share them! Lila did so well and we got some great shots.

She is outgrowing some newborn stuff, and has moved to size 1 diapers. Most 0-3 months stuff is still too big. She is definately getting longer and heavier!

Her next appt. is next week. I'm nervous because she has to get some shots! Poor baby and poor mommy. Luckily Neil has the day off and will be there with us. I'm also finally getting my hair cut and colored that day! Long overdue.

As far as my recovery, I'm feeling good. I've driven, gone to Walmart on my own, and ran errands with my parents when they've visited. Stairs are getting easier and sleeping in more comfortable. For those curious about my postpartum weight loss, I'm down 25 lbs. I gained a total of 45, so I'm hoping the rest comes off when I'm cleared to exercise and I start eating better. Im hoping to get Lila out for a walk in her stroller tomorrow, its supposed to be 70 and sunny. So far she has only been out of the house for her two dr appts. I'm trying to keep her away from crowds until 6 weeks or so.

We will be making a 2 hour trip in a couple weeks to our hometown! I hope that goes well.

Well, my little love is waking up, better see what she needs!

2 weeks old

2011-03-10T08:47:00.001-05:00

My baby girl is 2 weeks old! It's a big week for Lila. She had a dr appt/ weight check yesterday and she is doing great! She has surpassed her birth weight and gained 14 oz in one week. I was worried about her getting enough to eat being exclusively breastfed, but I'm happily relieved and proud of us both! She was 8 lb 6 oz!

Things are going well. Lila is a good baby and we all usually get enough sleep. She definately cluster feeds in the evenings, and is hungry/fussy or eating practically all evening. Luckily this usually tanks her up for a good 4-5 hours overnight.

She sleeps a lot during the day too but I try to take advantage of her awake times to sing to her or try to interact with her a bit. I can't wait until she's smiling!

Milestones/things of note this week-

Umbilical cord fell off!

Loves: eating, sleeping on mommy, having her hands on or near her face

Dislikes: wet diapers (doesnt seem to mind the poopy ones!), socks, bright lights

Still in newborn clothes and diapers

Nicknames/ terms of endearment: Pretty girl, pretty, flopsy or floppy, sleepy gus

Coming up:
Grandparents visit! (All of them)
Newborn photos on Sat. morning!

I'm probably a bad mom for posting these pics but here is my pretty girl. See how fast her mood changes?! Of course I came to her aid immediately! Pretty sure she was hungry!

Birth Story: Part 1

2011-03-08T19:14:00.006-05:00

On Tuesday February 22, I had a Dr. appt in the afternoon and had my membranes swept (not sure if this put me into labor or not). I was still only about 1 cm dilated and 40% effaced and I scheduled an induction for that Friday. After the appt. I felt crampy for the rest of the day, but still went to dinner with my friend Kristen and then to Kroger to grab some milk and other necessities. Neil got home from class around 10, and my contractions started shortly after that.

They started off pretty far apart, but over the next few hours got closer and closer. We timed them on a contraction app on my phone, we got in bed at midnight but shortly after that got back up when we realized they weren’t stopping. The contractions hurt! They were about a minute and a half long and mostly in my back. We packed our bags with some last minute items and headed to the hospital around 2:45am. We called our parents to let them know what was going on and that they should probably start making their way to the hospital (a 2-hour drive).

When we got to the hospital I was put in a triage room and put on monitors and I was still only one centimeter! I was so bummed that I was there so early and wished Neil would’ve let me labor longer at home. They admitted me and put us in a delivery room.

Mid-contraction in the triage room!

The rest of the labor is pretty hazy as far as details and times go, but I’ve tried to have my parents and Neil fill in the blanks.

I labored until 6am or so with no problems. My contractions were getting stronger and stronger but still not terrible. My parents arrived and things seemed pretty routine. Then it got crazy.

My regular nurse left the room and said she’d be back shortly. A few minutes later 2 nurses I’d never seen rushed in and started frantically checking things and flipping me from side to side. Soon about 15 people were in the room. No one was telling me what was happening. They threw an oxygen mask on my face and I overheard things like “low fetal heart tones” and “not recovering” and “c-section”. I was absolutely scared out of my mind and was so afraid for Lila. Finally after flipping me almost on to my belly her heart rate recovered after quite a few minutes of her heart rate being well under 100, apparently as low as 50.

After she finally recovered, the doctor came over and explained what happened and that Lila was probably just laying on the umbilical cord or squeezing it, and that she should be okay.

Then it happened again. This time the doctor and nurses rushed in, threw my legs apart and broke my water. Then they put an internal monitor in, that attaches to the baby’s head to get a more accurate heart rate reading. The pain of my contractions was a lot more intense after breaking my water. They got Lila to recover again but it seemed to take longer this time for her to get better. I was still only 2 cm, but the doctor recommended getting my epidural placed just in case they did have to do a c-section. I hadn’t planned to get an epi until 4 or 5 cm so I could move around in early labor, but since they broke my water and with the internal monitor getting out of the bed wasn’t an option anyway.

I got the epidural. It took the anesthesiologist 3 tries to place it, but once it was in everything was fine. I was so nervous about the epidural, I was shaking so bad. But after it was placed it was really pretty easy. The epi took away the pain of the contractions pretty well, but I had to pee really bad and with each contraction my bladder was killing me! After practically begging, they finally gave me a catheter. Never thought I’d be looking forward to that!

At some point later that morning, the midwife came in and checked me and I’d progressed to almost a 5. I was so happy that I was progressing! But, the celebration was short lived when Lila’s heart rate again dropped down. After she finally recovered, the doctor came to my bedside and said that she needed to do a c-section. Neil was not in the room then, apparently he was in the cafeteria eating pancakes...

To be continued!

Lila: 1 Week Update

2011-03-03T16:37:00.009-05:00

I can't believe my baby girl is a week old! She has changed so much in a week. She's losing the brand new newborn look and her features are becoming more apparent. She's getting more alert in her awake times and she's just such a good baby!

Lila on day 1:

And on day 7:

I'm biased, obviously, but I just think she's a beauty!

Exciting things this week:

First sponge bath
First doctor visit
Doing great on nursing! Every 2 hours during the day and every 3-4 at night. Mama's tired!
Started doing about a minute of tummy time a day
Visits from lots of friends and family
A lot of lounging with me and Grandma!
Wearing newborn size diapers and clothes
Sleeps for a 4 hour stretch at night
Likes white noise, swaddling and eating
Hates being delayed to eat, cold wipes and crinkling paper/plastic

My updates:

I'm healing well from my c-section. My incision looks great, I have a lot of bruising and I'm still sore, but I've stopped taking my pain meds and I'm moving around much better.

I've lost about 20 lbs since delivery and my belly is definitely shrinking! Pretty sure I still weigh more than Neil, though! Boo.

I'm feeling pretty confident as a mom and I'm definately proud of myself, especially since I successfully was able to nurse again after considering exclusively pumping because of latching issues. I'm happy things are working out on that front! Nursing is hard and time consuming but I'm starting to love it.

Happy 1 week, Lila!

Lila's First Dr. Appointment

2011-02-28T13:23:00.006-05:00

Because Lila lost more than 10% of her weight in the hospital and needed to be supplemented, the pediatrician wanted to see her today, at 5 days old. On Saturday, she weighed 7 lb. 2 oz, down from her birth weight of 7 lb. 15 oz. I supplemented her with formula for a couple feedings, but since I'm committed to giving her breast milk for as long as I can, I was able to start pumping with a breast pump and feeding her that way. I'm so happy to report that it is working!!! Our baby girl is back up to 7 lb. 8.5 oz! The pediatrician was very happy and impressed that I am already producing so much milk (about 2.5 oz in 15-20 mins of pumping).

She also had a general well baby check and everything looks great. She is very healthy and happy! Mom went with me to the appointment because Neil is back at work today, and we were so happy to get Lila there and have everything work out. It gave me a lot more confidence as a mom, because I felt prepared and at ease to get her on time to the appointment. Of course I couldn't have done it with out my mama - she fed and entertained Lila while I got a shower, pumped, ate breakfast and packed the diaper bag. We got out the door and Lila was awesome the whole time. She was perfect in the car! Her first car ride home from the hospital, she was not happy. She did great this time in the car and only cried at the office when the doctor pushed on her belly and when she had to get naked. I couldn't believe how good she was. She also pooped at the office, narrowly missing the doc, which I'm thankful for! Luckily I remembered to pack wipes and a diaper. Success!

In the car on the way there!

So after the successful appointment, mom and I got Chick-fil-A, I fed Lila and pumped again and now mom is running off to get some newborn clothes and some other needed items. So, I'm home alone with the baby for the first time. She's sleeping now, so it's pretty easy, but I think I can do this mom thing after all.

Tonight we may attempt her first sponge bath! We go back to the pedi on March 9, when she'll be two weeks unless she has any problems. I may also go in to see the lactation consultants again if I have any problems with her latching on correctly and feeding. I'm just thankful I was able to rent the pump and produce enough milk to feed her and get her weight back up.

Well, I better go check on Lila. I'm so proud of her for having such a great appointment today!

So little time and so little sleep

2011-02-27T23:06:00.001-05:00

I have so many thoughts in my head and no time to write them down. I want to record Lila's birth story. For those who don't know I had an emergency c-section after 3 occurances of fetal distress and low fetal heart tones. Scariest most surreal moments of my life.

I also want to write about my feelings about being a mom, how amazing my husband has been with our daughter and with me as I recover physically and emotionally from such a traumatic (but still beautiful) birth, and lots of other details and anecdotes about the last few crazy days.

But there is no time. I didnt even talk to my own brother until today 4 days after the birth. But even though there have been bumps in the road and I've literally slept like 12 hours in 4 days, things are good.

Neil goes back to work and school this week and I'm sad and terrified. Thank goodness my mom is here. I can't drive or do stairs or bend over or lift anything, so it is impossible without help. Neil has really taken the lead while I've been recovering. He is absolutely amazing. Words just can't describe. He's a great dad and husband just like I knew he'd be.

Lila is doing great. She is a good baby but is sometimes hard to settle and seems to have gas and belly issues. Because she lost more than 10% of her weight in the hospital, we've had to supplement a bit with formula, but now that my milk is coming in I've started pumping and giving her breastmilk in a bottle. She is taking to it well. I just hope she's gained weight at her appt. tomorrow. She was down to 7 lb 2 oz in the hospital. She is just so tiny. Poor thing has no clothes because I didnt buy any newborn stuff for her. Hoping to fix that soon.

Well Lila is sleeping on Neil's chest on the couch. Hopefully she is ready for her long sleep of the day. She usually will do one 5 hr stretch. I should probably sleep too.

I hope to update soon with more photos and hopefully at least part of her birth story.

Wish us luck this week. We have a dr appt, nurse home visit and will hopefully be ready for more visitors! Now that I'm feeling better I think I'm ready for that.

Hope to post more soon!

Lila's first bow

2011-02-24T12:55:00.001-05:00

She wore it for approx. 30 secs to get the photo. My pretty girl!

Our baby girl

2011-02-23T15:27:00.001-05:00

We had our beautiful baby girl this morning 2/23/11 at 10:13am. She weighed 7lbs 15oz. and she was 20 inches long.

Lila Caroline Miller welcome to the world – finally!

Baby by the Weekend

2011-02-22T15:57:00.002-05:00

Looks like there is an actual end in sight and we will have a baby by this weekend! I had an appointment today. My blood pressure is fine, Lila's heartbeat was 135. I'm dilated to 1cm and have effaced and softened more. The doctor swept my membranes (which was pretty darn uncomfortable) which might help send me into labor soon. But if the baby doesn't come by Friday morning, I'll go to an appt. at 9am and will be induced later that day. Depending on where my cervix is that morning I'll either be induced with Cervidil first or go straight to having my water broken and/or Pitocin.

My doctor seemed impressed that I've kept it together so far and was happy that I was able to wait until Friday to schedule the induction. That gets us to almost 42 weeks. So we are looking at a likely birthday of Feb. 25 or 26 or at the latest the 27th. So much later than I thought, but my daughter is already teaching me how unpredictable motherhood can be!

I'm so excited to finally meet our baby girl! I am still holding out hope that I go into labor before Friday, but trying to be optimistic if I do have to go through with the induction. I'm just happy to move on from being pregnant to being mommy. I'm so ready. I am scared and anxious about labor but I'm hopeful that everything will go just fine.

I'm going to spend the rest of the week getting last minute things ready. I want to double check my hospital bags, stock the house with some food for when we come home and do some last minute tidying up and cleaning.

I'm thrilled about meeting Lila. I can't wait to see her face and hold her for the first time. I especially can't wait to see my baby girl with her daddy! I'm so happy get this next stage of our lives started and finally become a family of 3!

I plan on posting one last pregnant photo before I check into the hospital, but otherwise you should be seeing pictures of our baby girl here in a few days!

Nearly 41 weeks and mixed emotions

2011-02-20T14:31:00.002-05:00

I never really thought I'd be 41 weeks, even though I know a lot of people go past their due dates. I also know a lot of moms that went into labor naturally at 37 or 38 weeks so I thought I'd be somewhere in the middle.

I'll be honest, its pretty tough. I'm bored, of course and my excitement about labor and the baby even is turning into anxiety. And, for a planner like me, the not knowing is driving me nuts. Also I feel like my body is failing me and in turn I'm failing everyone by not producing this baby I promised.

I am also still worried about induction. But I'm trying my best to stay positive. I've been so lucky with this pregnancy. So many women would give anything to be where I am. I keep telling myself that weeks of waiting for my inevitable full term baby is nothing compared to months and years of infertility. I am so lucky but it is still so hard.

So here I am repacking my hospital bags because everything is pretty wrinkled after being packed for a month. I go back and forth from happily nesting and enjoying baby free time with Neil to just sitting on the couch crying!

If I don't go into labor by tomorrow, its back to the doctor to schedule an induction, probably for Thursday.

Please continue to send labor and patience vibes.

Appointment Update: 40 weeks and 2 days

2011-02-16T10:11:00.003-05:00

Neil joined me for what was hopefully my last appointment today! Bullet points will make it easier to sum up:

- My blood pressure was 120/88. Yay!

- I'm still not dilated and only about 20% effaced. Boo! But baby is still nice and low.

- Dr. Narandren recommended against inducing this week because my body is still unfavorable and it could be a 2-3 day ordeal that could lead to lots of interventions and possibly a c-section. I trust her and appreciate not being pushed into induction.

- She is still optimistic that I will go into labor on my own soon, but wants me to schedule an appointment for next Monday or Tuesday if I'm still pregnant over the weekend.

- At that appointment she will talk about scheduling an induction for Wednesday or Thursday of next week if that's what we want. Sounds like not very many people go to 42 weeks at this practice. I will definitely consider induction next week if it comes to that.

- We got an ultrasound while we were at the appointment to check and see how Lila was doing as far as fluid, placenta, movement, etc. She's doing great! Her heartbeat sounded good, she was moving around a lot, she was practicing breathing, placenta is still working and there is plenty of fluid. We even got to see her in 3D/4D again, and she's still cute even though she is super smashed in there. We could even see her little fingernails! She needs to come out so mommy can give her a manicure. Those things are getting long! It was great seeing her again and it's wonderful to know that she is still doing fine in there.

- So, we wait. And I feel okay with it right now, really! I want to have a good birth experience and my chances of that are better if I'm allowed to go into labor naturally. I know tons of people are induced and have great experiences, and I might still get induced next week. But it's obviously not a good choice right now since my baby is fine and my body is clearly not ready yet. It's hard to wait, but I've had such a good, healthy pregnancy I don't want to ruin that by making a rash decision about my labor/delivery.

- Symptom-wise, physically... I'm still feeling really good. I'm sleeping well, I'm still moving okay, my heartburn is better, I've adjusted to the numb carpal tunnel hands and I think I can make it through the wait just fine. Mentally..I'm just a little bored and anxious of course. But being an optimistic/look on the bright side type of person, I'm really just fine! The doctor even commented about how good I looked/seemed for being 40+ weeks. I told her I feel better now than I felt 2 weeks ago! Thank you bedrest.

- My mom is coming up to visit tomorrow and will head back home Friday as long as I don't go into labor while she's here! I'm so excited to have her come and stay. It's going to be 60 degrees tomorrow so we plan on getting outside to enjoy the weather. She's going to help me pick up our glider and maybe do some stuff around the house as well. We might also be doing a Hobby Lobby run and working some on Elizabeth's baby shower tasks.

So, bottom line, we are still playing the waiting game and letting Miss Lila call the shots. I sure hope she comes on her own soon. Maybe she wants to wait for warmer weather or wants to be born on her Uncle James' birthday on Monday. Who knows! We'll find out soon and at the latest we will meet our baby girl around this time next week. Can't wait to meet her and become a mommy! I'm so excited!

Happy Due Date and Happy Valentine's Day

2011-02-14T13:26:00.004-05:00

I'm 40 weeks today. I so wished to have a baby in my arms by now, but I'm doing pretty well so far with her not arriving on time. There is still a chance she could come tonight! I'm just getting a little bored at home. I am having a lot of cramps and discomfort so I don't really want to do much more than just hang out on the couch, do crafts and go for the occasional walk. I'm trying to be patient and let her come when she is ready.

I definitely feel 40 weeks pregnant. I feel a lot of pressure, I have to pee all the time, I'm sore/achy all over, and I have a lot of back pain. I've been having contractions but nothing is becoming regular yet for any length of time. It's kind of frustrating. As soon as I start thinking I should start timing the contractions, the peter off into nothingness. I'd really love for labor to start in the next two days. So, if you're the prayin' kind, give this little girl some encouragement to come out and/or send me some patience to help me wait for her!

I really don't want to do a 41 weeks pregnant post!

Appointment Update: 39 weeks and 4 days

2011-02-11T12:24:00.003-05:00

I'm so relieved! I had a really good appointment today. After one super high false high BP reading, I had three consecutive normal ones! All of them were right around 120/80. Dr. Narendran was very happy with that and attributed it to me being on bedrest this past week. I have very little swelling in my ankles as well. I guess I really did just need to rest and stay home. I'm so happy because she said she would not be inducing me and thinks I will go into labor naturally in the next few days. I made an appointment with her for next Wednesday the 16th, but hopefully I won't need it. And if so, that's okay too. Of course it's no fun to go past my due date, but I will if that's what has to happen! I mean, I've been pregnant since May - what's a few more days?

I'm still not dilated and I forgot to ask about effacement. I was concerned about still not being dilated at all, but the doc was not. She explained that she feels better about someone like me whose baby is really low and is not dilated at all, than a woman who is 3cm and has a baby that is still up high. She explained that since my baby has already dropped that my labor may be a little easier and quicker since Lila won't have to travel too far. Basically once I actually start dilating Lila is going to come right out of there! Hopefully that means less pushing for me! She also assured me that plenty of people who are not dilated at all in the morning can go into labor later that day.

Dr. Narendran also said that she doesn't expect me to go much past my due date since I'm so certain about my conception day and that the baby is already so low. She is the on call doctor Monday night through Tuesday. I'd love for her to deliver Lila! My other favorite doctor in the practice, Dr. Lee is on call the next day. So, we'll see what happens!

Symptom wise, I'm fine for the most part. I'm feeling a lot of pressure and crampiness still. I slept pretty well last night and only got up once. I don't have a lot of energy, but I am trying to conserve what I do have for labor! I'm in a much better mood now too. I was very worried about my BP and the possibility of getting induced. I'm just really relieved and happy that everything is okay. Lila is still moving a lot but the poor thing has to be so cramped. I'm guessing she is a pretty long baby, so she is basically folded in half in there. I'm going to go out on a limb and try to predict her birth length and weight. Keep in mind we have not had a medical ultrasound since week 18 when the baby was like 9 oz! All I'm going on is that she's been measuring on track and the doctor said today she's not too little or too big from what she can tell. My guess: 8 lbs 8 oz. and 22 inches long. Neil thinks she's a 9-pounder, but I think he's nuts.

Anyway, my plan for this weekend is to spend lots of time with Neil, get out and walk (maybe even outside since it's warming up), finish writing thank you cards and probably make a stop by the brand new Chick-fil-A by our house. We actually went already on opening day, but just got a milkshake. Neil absolutely loves Chick-fil-A so we have to eat lunch there the first weekend its open! I hope everyone has a great weekend! Maybe next time I post I'll have some fun baby news!

39 weeks

2011-02-09T13:00:00.002-05:00

**this is a post from my cell phone, just testing it out**

I had my official last day at work yesterday. It was an odd feeling cleaning out my office and saying bye to people. Very surreal. It feels good to be wrapping stuff up though. I might still need to work a bit from home but for the most part I'm just relaxing, watching TV, writing thank you notes and doing crafts. I'm just trying to keep busy.

I'm feeling pretty good. A little crampy here and there, a little lightheaded this morning. Lots of pressure low.

My next appt is Friday. I planned it for then in case they wanted to do an induction right away - it'd be the weekend and Neil wouldn't need to worry about work. If my BP is fine I'll hopefully be able to go into labor naturally over the weekend or next week. My two favorite doctors are on call Tues and Wed so if they want to induce next week those days would be my preference.

I'm still nervous about the possibility of induction, but I've heard some positive stories lately which helps. If my BP is high I will do whatever I need to do make sure Lila is safe.

I feel pretty confident that I will go into labor on my own soon!

I just wanted to give a little update. I'm still definitely pregnant. Maybe the next update will have some photos of a cute little baby!

A Friday evening at Labor and Delivery, but still no baby.

2011-02-05T08:04:00.003-05:00

Let's just say my appointment kind of sucked yesterday. It all started with me SPILLING my freaking urine sample on myself in the bathroom! Oh yes I did. Darn carpal tunnel. I cannot grip anything. I gained another pound, and then they tell me my BP is super high: something like 150/90. My norm is well under 120/80. Lila's HR is fine, 150s.

Then Dr. Lee comes in. She's my favorite doctor. She's concerned about the high BP reading and tests me again. Still high. She is also concerned about my swollen ankles/legs. I told her I didn't even work that day and they are usually much more swollen on my more active days. She says I need to stop working and writes me a nice little note not to work for the remainder of my pregnancy. She checks my cervix and I’m still firm and closed.

Then she tells me to go to the hospital that night for some more tests and observation at labor and delivery. I was really not expecting that. She says that they will probably release me but she wants to play it safe.

So after I went home and Neil got off of work, we packed last minute things and put our hospital bags in the car just in case they kept us. Then we went to Red Lobster!

So we got to L&D after dinner and they just did a whole bunch of tests in the triage room. I even had to wear a hospital gown! They monitored Lila’s heart rate and checked for contractions. Lila did great. She passed the non stress test really fast and they said she looked really good. I had quite a few contractions that showed up on the monitor, but they were 12-15 minutes apart and not painful at all. I had a few toward the end that were a little stronger, but nothing hurt at all and I never really would’ve known those were actually contractions.

Anyway, they checked my urine, drew blood, and took my BP like 5 times. It ranged from still pretty high: 140/85 to normal: 124/78. After about an hour and a half the doctor on call discharged us because everything looked fine. The nurse was convinced they’d be talking induction next week at my appointment.

I really don’t want to be induced unless my cervix is ready for it. I know that induction births tend to be longer and have more interventions than natural ones, and I really don’t want to go there! A lot of inductions for first time moms turn into emergency c-sections too. Please no! Of course if my BP is really high next week and Lila is not doing well I’ll do it, but I’d really like to avoid getting induced.

So, I’m pretty nervous. All I can do at this point is hope that I go into labor naturally in the next week or at least make progress before my next appointment. That way if they do talk induction at least my cervix will be favorable for it.

So, that’s the update. Modified bed rest, no more work, and operation avoid induction. I’m hoping to try to walk some at the gym if we don’t have too much snow this weekend/week. That’s not necessarily bed rest friendly, but I know it will be good for me to walk.

So, Lila you can come out anytime, little lady!!

11 days until my due date...

2011-02-03T14:58:00.005-05:00

Nope, no baby yet!

I moved my doctor's appointment to tomorrow so I don't even have any updates! I moved it so I didn't have to jet out of work early today. I've been home for ice/snow/delivery people for three days and just needed a full day at the office! I'm beginning to wrap things up at work and I'm really excited about that. After working for a little over 4 years at Miami, it'll be really weird to say goodbye for awhile and not be back until summer. It's a very odd feeling, but I'm ready for it.

I'm feeling pretty good. Like oddly good. I've been sleeping well, I'm relatively comfortable, swelling isn't bad (maybe due to not going in to work for awhile), and I've been having a bit more energy when I want it. I mean, I have been taking it easy at home and not doing much, but yeah, I'm feeling good!

I do have a lot of pressure very low, and I've gotten what have felt like pretty bad menstrual cramps which may or may not be actual contractions. They haven't been regular enough to really keep track of, so I don't think it was anything. People assure me that I will just know when it's a real contraction.

Lila is still moving a lot, as always. I'm trying to be extra aware of her in these last few days just to make sure she is okay. She's very good at reassuring me!

I'm starting to feel a little impatient, but not really enough to try to do any natural induction things other than walking and bouncing and moving on my exercise ball. No castor oil for this girl! I just hope that I've made some progress tomorrow at my appointment and that she shows some signs of coming out in the next week. I really would love it if she came before the 14th! I want my Valentine's day gift early!

38.

2011-01-31T13:58:00.003-05:00

I'm 38 weeks and my day has been pretty much entirely taken up by contractors, delivery men and satellite TV installers and trying to communicate important details between these guys and Neil... all while trying to work from home! It's so frustrating. We're trying to get Direct TV in our basement and living room and this involves drilling and holes and drywall and it's just a big mess because I'm not Neil and I don't know anything about it or how to answer any of the questions. Ugh! Hopefully it will all work out and we will have some TV channels at the end of this. OK, vent over.

Anyway! As I said, I'm 38 weeks today. That's pretty exciting, actually. I'm ready to meet my little girl, but if she holds out for two more weeks or so, I'm content with that too. I'm doing pretty well considering how pregnant I am. I'm trying to rest more and take it easier and just enjoy my time left before everything changes. I'm also not trying to do anything to bring on labor at this point. The closer I get to 40 weeks, I may start trying some natural induction techniques that aren't too crazy, just to try to avoid any unnecessary medical inductions. I'm pretty sure my OBgyn practice doesn't like people to go much beyond 41 weeks. I'd really like to avoid pitocin or any other icky induction stuff. I know sometimes its unavoidable and some people have a fine experience with induction, but I'm just trying to play it safe.

Lila is still moving around a lot in there and I wonder if she's ready to come out soon! In all honesty, if I could choose her birthday at this point, I would go into labor next Thursday, Friday or Saturday (the 10th, 11th or 12th). I'd love her to come at the end of the week so Neil can maximize his time off and to allow for visitors over the weekend. But who knows when our little one is planning to make her appearance.

We are still plugging away at the to-do list. My mom visited this weekend and we made and froze lots of meals and also stocked my pantry with easy to throw together dinners. This will help a lot in those first few weeks! Mom and I had a great time chatting and cooking and we did a little bit of shopping here and there, too. We are planning a shower for my friend Elizabeth who is due in mid-May, so we worked some on that and got a lot of the shopping and early prep done. It's so fun to plan for. The shower isn't until the first weekend of April, but because of Lila's arrival we wanted to get as much stuff done early as we can. We're doing a bee theme with black, yellow and white and everything is turning out really cute. I love having a reason to be crafty and I can't wait to celebrate the new baby!

How Far Along: 38 weeks

Best Moment(s) this past week: Spending one last weekend with my mom before I become a mom and she's grandma!

Current baby/pregnancy worry: How to contact Neil at work if I go into labor during the day and when to have him come home, etc.. That's kind of stressful because I don't want him to leave work before its necessary or if it's a false alarm.

Movement: Still moving like crazy, but I can tell she is sleeping a little bit more lately.

Labor Signs: Just cramps/backache and feeling her really low.

Food Craving: Girl scout cookies and root beer floats. Haven't had either. :(

Any new symptoms?: Same as last week.

What I miss: I miss working out, having a whole bunch of clothing options and my normal energy level.

What I am looking forward to: At this point, all that's really left is meeting Lila. I'm so looking forward to seeing her face for the first time, seeing Neil's face after she's here and just holding her in my arms. I also can't wait for our families and friends to meet her. I'm just so excited!

If you're curious...

2011-01-29T20:15:00.004-05:00

This is what a 37 wk 4 days pregnant woman looks like!

Appt. Update

2011-01-27T18:48:00.005-05:00

Pretty good appointment today. I've been having lower back pain and cramping so I kind of thought things were happening down there, so I wanted to get checked. I was hoping they'd tell me I was dilated at least 1 cm, just for fun, but nope. Nothing is going on in there. The doc said it'll it least be another week until she comes at his estimation, but I'll probably be pretty close to my due date. Funny, the doctor also said I looked too happy to be having the baby any time soon. I guess I should look more miserable or something!

Blood pressure - The nurse said 160/80. The doc was skeptical, and retook it 5 minutes later. It was 124/78.
Weight - Didn't gain any. Amazing! There is a first time for everything, but of course I was just there last week.
Fundal height - He didn't say exactly, but said I was right on track. I'm guessing 37 cm then.
Cervical check - Nada. No dilation or effacement.
Lila's heart rate - 150.
Lila's position - Head down and descending. The doc even said he felt her head and that she's pretty low.
Other - They told me my Group B Strep test came back negative. Yay!
Next appointment - Next Thurs. Feb 3. (38 wks and 3 days).

Now back to watching Gray's Anatomy Season 2 with my feet up!

Full term and the waiting game begins

2011-01-24T10:52:00.008-05:00

I'm full term today (37 weeks) and baby Lila could come anytime! I'm not expecting her to come for at least 2 more weeks, but you never know! Neil and I are trying to fully enjoy our last few weekends before becoming a family of 3 but are still trying to be productive. We went out for sushi, saw Black Swan, and spent some time just lounging around the house together this weekend. But we also accomplished quite a bit:

Basement:

Bought a TV and scheduled delivery/installation
Got DirectTV and scheduled installation
Floor is almost finished
Painted some trim and doors
Looked at mini fridges and full size freezers
I'm sure he did more that I don't know about...

Baby:

Car seat bases are installed and checked
Bought a newborn insert for the car seat (ours didn't have one with it)
Ordered glider
Ordered nursing cover
Lila's bag is totally packed and ready to go
Last minute baby and birth/after-birth items purchased
My hospital bag is 90% packed with a list of last minute things to throw in
Neil has a list of what to pack in his bag (mostly cameras/electronics and stuff for him)
Lila's newborn and 0-3 month clothes are all washed and ready to go (I even folded some into outfits so Neil can dress her or I can in a sleep deprived state)

Once the basement floor gets done and my closet gets painted I plan to start moving things down there and start getting the rest of the house more organized. I'd also like to get furniture moved to the basement and get the carpet in the rest of the house steam cleaned! Hopefully it will all get done soon. It's a lot to do with Neil being so busy with work and school, but I still think we can do it.

How Far Along: 37 weeks

Best Moment(s) this past week: Date afternoon with Neil :)

Current baby/pregnancy worry: "Is my water breaking?" and "Was that a contraction?"

Movement: She's still moving but I don't feel her as much. I'm trying not to get concerned, because she still does move quite a few times an hour, but I'm so used to her being SO active, it's a big change. Some days she is still very active, but others she just kind of rolls and sticks her butt out every once in a while. *UPDATE* As soon as I write that she is calming down with the movements, she spends like 2 hours totally beating me up. After work yesterday, she had some of the strongest movements of my whole pregnancy! She was moving her knees up and down and my belly was literally stretching like 3 or 4 inches in different directions. Crazy girl.

Labor Signs: Not really sure. I have more pressure very low, have to pee more often, and I'm having some back pain and menstrual-type cramps here and there. Just have a general feeling that labor is near.. which, duh, it is, relatively speaking!

Food Craving: Sweets. Cookies, chocolate, hot chocolate, candy! Make it stop!

Any new symptoms?: The cramping/back pain is new. My numb/tingly hands are getting worse. I still have sciatica pain and I'm waking up more at night too, sometimes it's hard to get back to sleep. I'm not miserable yet, but next week might be different.

What I miss: I miss being able to cuddle really close with Neil and not have my giant belly get in the way. I even have to hug him at an angle!

What I am looking forward to: My mom is coming this weekend to do some last minute baby things, preparing/cooking/freezing meals, and working on Elizabeth's baby shower details. It will be fun to have her here, and super convenient if I happen to go into labor! HA.

I have another appointment this week, on Thursday afternoon. I kind of don't want to get my cervix checked. My doctors' check it every time past 36 weeks, but I just don't think it's necessary. Even if they tell me I'm 3 cm, it doesn't really mean I'm any closer to labor. I wonder if I can take a pass? It's not even that it hurts (which it does, kinda) - I just think it's unnecessary really. We'll see what happens on Thursday. Curiosity might get the best of me!

In all honesty, I'm still feeling that she's going to come right around her due date if not a little after. My mom is predicting Feb. 15. My brother thinks the 8th and his fiancee is thinking the 12th (her birthday). My dad and Neil are staying out of the prediction game! I think she is going to come on the 12th or on an odd-numbered day after my due date like the 15th or 17th. I'm pretty certain we are looking at a February arrival and not January. I just don't see her arriving in the next 7 days!

Also, I've said all along that I'm working up until my due date. I'm not sure how possible that's going to be! Today we had very light snow and it was still tough to get to work. Driving 35-40 minutes is very uncomfortable for me and walking the 10 minutes from the car into my building is getting harder, especially with the ice and snow on the ground. It just takes me SO LONG to get to work because I'm so slow and trying to be cautious. I know if I fall I have to go to the hospital, so I really would like to avoid that. I might consider making my last day earlier in February after all, just to be on the safe side. Working from home is a much safer and more productive option. I still have so much to do at work, though - I need to keep working as long as I can!

Here's hoping for a great week!

Dear Lila,

2011-01-21T15:47:00.007-05:00

Hey baby girl. Your daddy and I are getting so excited to meet you. You will be "full term" and healthy enough to join us in just a few days. Well, as much as I want to meet you, sweetie, I want you to stay in there until you are fully ready to come out. A few days ago I was getting impatient (and uncomfortable) and I hoped you make your appearance early. And vainly, I thought if you came early I wouldn't gain more weight or get any more stretch marks and my heartburn and carpal tunnel would go away! Well, even considering those things, I think I've changed my mind about wishing for an early arrival.

I know my life is about to totally change when you get here. I'm going to be home with you for a few months and I won't be going to work everyday like I'm used to doing. I'll probably not be sleeping very much and instead of focusing on myself or on shopping or on what book to read next, I'll be focusing on you. As much as I am ready for that change, I'm also not ready. So, if it's okay with you, stay in there for awhile, baby girl! I want to feel you kicking in my belly for a few more weeks... while I spend time with your dad, get things wrapped up nicely at work and get everything prepared for your arrival.

It might sound selfish, but I think I need these next few weeks to really be ready for you. So keep growing and getting smarter and healthier and cuter in there and I'll meet you so soon. I'm thinking February 12, 14 or 17 sound like great days to be born!

See you soon little one,

Your mama :)

Appointment Update - 36 weeks

2011-01-20T11:40:00.005-05:00

I made it to and from my appointment today even with the snow. I hardly ever have a long wait, but today I was there an hour! I guess I should get used to longer appointments now.

Blood pressure - 122/78
Weight - Up 3 more lbs.
Fundal height - 36 cm, exactly where I need to be
Cervical check - Nothing happening yet. Everything is still closed up. Definitely not a comfortable check, but not painful really.
Lila's heart rate - 160, a bit higher than normal
Lila's position - Head down.
Other - Was swabbed for Group B Strep. This was awkward, but not painful!
Next appointment - January 27th with Dr. Wolf.

Everything looks good! I'm not surprised about not progressing yet, I'm fully prepared for her to hold on until well into February, and that's fine with me!

The 36 week update

2011-01-18T10:30:00.004-05:00

I'm starting to get more and more anxious and ready to have this baby! Not only am I getting more uncomfortable, but I'm just ready to see her and hold her and start being a mommy. I feel like I'm in this weird time vacuum where I can't stop time from passing but I don't seem to be getting any closer to the end somehow! I'm sure once I'm full term next week and I'm hopefully making some progress at my appointment, I'll feel like things are happening. Oh and remember how the baby size corresponds with a different fruit each week? She is officially a watermelon! How did that happen!?

So much of the preparation for Lila's arrival is done. Her room is getting closer to being finalized, the basement has 1/2 a floor installed, I had my baby shower and I have one bag packed for the hospital and a master list ready to go. I've also made a list of last minute things I need to buy for baby and myself for in the hospital and immediately after the birth. We're getting so close! It is crazy because at my shower (which was great!) - I was saying bye to people and realizing the next time I saw them would be after Lila is here! It's truly crazy how soon we will get to meet this little one.

Alright, on the pregnancy side, I'm feeling crappier. It's hard to type, grip or hold anything because my hands are constantly numb and tingling. In the middle of the night and in the morning I'm in so much pain because of my hands! It sucks. I'm having more Braxton Hicks and starting to get some lower back pain and cramping. I wonder if that's just my body responding to the extra weight or if those are contractions or labor signs. I don't really know! Lila feels really low (she might have dropped?) so I constantly feel like I have to pee and there is a lot of pressure down there. But, enough complaining! This part will be over soon, and maybe because I'm having these issues now, she won't go past her due date? I can only hope.

Everything else is really pretty good. I need to get my butt in gear at work and wrap up projects and finish my annual review. It's just hard to concentrate because of all the things going on and I'm just not very comfortable anymore sitting and working on stuff (or standing - ha). Neil is back to MBA class tonight. Just 24 more weeks of classes for him! This is also his first day of having a full day of work and then going directly to class until 10. He's going to be so exhausted, poor thing. Just wait til he adds sleep deprived to the list.

Here is the photo from the shower that blows my mind at how big and round my belly really is. It's of me and my mom. My belly looks so much bigger in photos than in the mirror. It makes me laugh... it literally looks like I have a pumpkin in my dress. I never thought I'd be this pregnant! I mean, I knew I would, but I just couldn't fathom what I would look or feel like. All I can say is WOW.

She's definitely the size of a watermelon now!

Here is my weekly update:

How Far Along: 36 weeks and 1 day

Best Moment(s) this past week: My baby shower and spending time with my aunt this weekend

Current baby/pregnancy worry: There are really too many to name. What am I not worried about?

Movement: She's definitely still moving, but it's mostly softer movements and rolls and pushing or stretching. It feels so different because I'm used to her moving constantly and with smaller stronger movements.

Labor Signs: She might have dropped, more BH contractions, lower back pain, etc.

Food Craving: Chocolate, granola, fruit

Any new symptoms?: Waking up in the middle of the night and staying up for an hour or two... not fun.

What I miss: I miss wearing normal clothes. Like with a waistband and zipper. Hopefully I'll be back to that (in my old size) soon!!

What I am looking forward to: The weekend. Neil and I have a lot to do around the house but we plan to go eat at my favorite sushi place and go to a movie on Saturday! I'm also hoping we get the flooring done in the basement so I can start getting my house back in order after months of chaos.

Enjoy the week everyone!

Hometown Baby Shower

2011-01-16T20:35:00.009-05:00

I had a wonderful baby shower on Saturday! Elizabeth and her mom Lauralee planned and hosted it, and it was so fun and cute! I loved the pink and black theme. There were so many cute details and decorations - everything just looked perfect! They did such a great job! It was so much fun to spend time with the ladies for the afternoon and celebrate baby Lila.

Decorating onesies!

They actually looked pretty cute!

Steph's artwork!

Loved seeing this girl and her cute little baby, Mekhi.

I think I see a little more belly! Elizabeth, 23 weeks, me almost 36 weeks!

I had a wonderful time, got some amazingly sweet and adorable gifts for baby Lila, and it was just great seeing everyone. My Aunt Rhonda even came from western Kentucky! It was great to catch up with her. Thanks again everyone who came out for the shower! See you all soon when Lila arrives!

Maternity fashion advice: Part 3

2011-01-16T09:16:00.002-05:00

Okay, so I'm not even done with my pregnancy but I'm doling out the advice like it's nobody's business. Oh well! I've done this for almost 9 months, so I have some sort of expertise, right? Here is my advice on maternity fashion, in general... I promise, Part 3 is the final chapter. :)

See Part 1 and Part 2.

Invest in a pair of maternity jeans in the style/cut you wear the most. For me that's a medium/dark skinny leg. Also, I've loved the kind with a full panel (yep, up to the boobs) that is made of a lightweight panty-hose fabric. I made the mistake of buying a not so comfy panel pair from Old Navy and even though they've looked cute the whole pregnancy and worked pretty well, the band was just not comfortable.

Don't assume just because you're preggo you need a giant size. I actually found that most maternity clothes run big. Pre-pregnancy I was an 8 or 10 in pants/jeans/skirts and a medium or 6 in shirts and jackets. I found that at both Old Navy, Motherhood and Kohl's I bought 8s and smalls for the most part.

If you're pregnant in the dead of winter like me, you definitely need a coat - but you can probably avoid buying an actual maternity coat if you play it smart. Borrow one or find one secondhand is your best option, but my coat is actually from the Juniors department at JcPenney. My mom saw a coat with the right silhouette online for $40 or so and ordered it in a size up and it's great! Thanks mom!

Speaking of non-maternity items, keep your eye out for clothes that will work for you in the non-maternity clothing sections. This goes for your own closet (look for empire waist styles and cardigans you can wear open, etc), but also at the stores as well. I LOVE bargain shopping and pre-pregnancy you'd probably rarely see me in an outfit totaling more than $50-75. I love searching racks for $10 gems and I thought for pregnancy I was going to be forced to buy $40 tops. I actually had a lot of luck at Kohl's clearance racks but TJ Maxx could work too. I found 3 or 4 tops (Vera Wang for Kohls and Daisy Fuentes, if you're wondering) that are cut very generously that I can still wear now. They were each $7-10. Just keep an eye out for styles that look longer and fuller in the mid-section and they just might work!

Buy something new and fun even if there is only a month or so left in your pregnancy. Towards the end you literally are sick of looking at the two pairs of pants and 5 shirts that still fit and feel good. Buy something in a bright color that makes you smile. It's worth $20 to have a little pick me up and confidence boost in the last few weeks. A mom friend from work suggested this to me and it's great advice!

Don't get in a color rut. For some reason I bought a lot of GRAY this year. I love gray, but I also love color. I don't know how it happened but I was just drawn to that color and now I'm getting very bored with a coat, fleece jacket, boots, winter accessories and multiple other items all in the same charcoal gray hue. Make sure you mix it up or you will go nuts!

Accessorize!! Accessories are important for fashion in general but even more so during pregnancy. A cute necklace or earrings can detract from a puffy face. A bright scarf camouflages a giant belly and adds flair to a boring (read: gray) outfit. And bonus! you can buy accessories now and wear them after pregnancy! A necklace always fits!

I hope these fashion posts can help some other pregnant ladies out there who are lost in the sea of panels and leggings and tunics and can't find their way out. Even though you are pregnant, don't give up on looking cute! It can be done, it's just a little bit trickier.

Oh and I have to give props to my maternity fashion guide: Dusty's Maternity Fashion Overview over at All Things G&D. I love her style and this post in particular helped me tremendously! Her daughter Kate was born January 2010, so I often looked at what she wore last fall at the same point in her pregnancy. She had great advice and I've referred back to this post often.

Happy pregnancy and happy shopping to all my pregnant fashionistas!

Maternity fashion advice: Part 2

2011-01-14T09:50:00.002-05:00

In my last fashion-related post, I shared my favorite clothing items for each stage of my pregnancy. I've also had some favorite things that have worked for me for the entire 9 months.

My favorite, can't live without items that have worked all pregnancy:

Skinny pants/jeans

I'm a big skinny jeans person and have been for a few years - they are so versatile and work from summer to winter. My fave pair is my black skinny pants from Motherhood - I just wish I would've had them for my whole pregnancy. Basically they are like heavier weight leggings with pockets that can be work appropriate. They work with ballet flats or heels, could be cuffed and worn with flip flops in warmer weather, and can be tucked into any type of boot from comfy Uggs to equestrian type ones. If you are pregnant, I say get them!

Foldover yoga pants

I got a pair of black yoga pants for $13 at Kohls and I'm kicking myself for not buying 2 or 3 pairs. They are super comfy and I know I'll be wearing them a lot post-baby. They are great for lounging, working out or running around shopping. If anyone knows of another good pair of yoga pants with a fold-over waist, let me know!

Maternity tanks with built-in bras

I wore camisoles with built-in bras practically everyday before I was pregnant, so it's no surprise that I needed some good maternity tanks. My favorite are from Kohl's because they are soft and long, but the ones from Motherhood have been good too. I bought gray, black and two in white.

Long Cardigans

I've worn the heck out of my longer hip-length cardigans this fall and winter. They keep me warm, camouflage any peekaboo maternity panels, and just look cute!

Scarves

Scarves are the best thing ever. I wear a lightweight pashmina type scarf almost everyday. They add color and (kind of) cover up a giant belly if you are self-conscious of it.

Cheap fleece jacket

I bought a gray/black fleece zip up jacket early in pregnancy for $15 at TJ Maxx. It's a North Face-esque fleece, but without the price. I bought an XL hoping I could wear it my whole pregnancy. It was big at first but now at almost 36 weeks it's still doing the job. It's a great go-to when I need to run out the door and not freeze.

Larger "boyfriend" T-shirts

Before I was pregnant, slouchy boyfriend v-neck tees were really in style. Because I bought them in a size up to make sure they were nice and slouchy, they still fit now!

Stay tuned for Part 3 coming shortly where I'll share some more words of advice about maternity style and what has helped me and what I will try to do differently next time.

Maternity fashion advice: Part 1

2011-01-12T12:07:00.003-05:00

My "fashion" has gone considerably downhill the bigger and more pregnant I've gotten. Most of my maternity clothes still fit but I just don't feel like putting in the energy to come up with cute outfits everyday. It's so much easier to resort to the same type of outfit most days and not think about it. Also, I'm in my office mostly and not teaching or doing many official things right now, so I don't really have to dress up much anymore.

But, in the earlier months I had to look nice and professional and still be relatively comfortable to teach classes and give tours and presentations. I wanted to share what worked for me. Keep in mind my pregnancy has fallen mostly in the fall and winter, so this may not apply to ladies giving birth in the summer months.

PHASE 1: 12 weeks-22 weeks

The "I'm just bloated to there's an actual bump there!" phase:

I didn't start wearing any maternity clothes until 14 weeks, and even then it was just on the bloated days! During this stage I was still relatively close to my old size and could still wear a lot of non-maternity stuff. I really started to pop about mid-way through my pregnancy and definitely needed maternity clothes at that point. My go-to items:

Bella Band

I bought mine at Target. I didn't get much use out of it since I moved on to maternity pants pretty early, but it was good for getting more life out of pre-pregnancy pants. The band was pretty good at holding up un-buttoned pants or too-big maternity pants as well. The only problem was it tends to roll if you are moving around a lot. I bought mine in tan, which worked well under lighter colored tops.

Ribbed maternity tanks from Motherhood

My biggest problem at this stage was tops not being long enough to cover my bump or maternity panel or Bella Band. I really liked the ribbed tanks from Motherhood and Old Navy. They have been great for layering under light cardigans or just wearing around the house.

Non-maternity dresses

At this stage I was still getting a lot of wear out of non-maternity dresses. But, as my bump grew they started to get a little too short. Some people could wear leggings or tights but as I got bigger I never found a good pair of maternity tights that were comfy. I thought I'd be wearing dresses and tights throughout my pregnancy but have found myself choosing pants more often.

Black/gray herringbone Trousers from Liz Lange for Target

(no longer available)

Speaking of pants, I had a favorite go-to pair of dress pants for this stage of pregnancy. They had a nice comfy panel and looked professional and I'm pretty sure I wore them twice a week! I was able to wear them with a lot of my pre-preg tops and cardigans.

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PHASE 2: 23 weeks - 33 weeks

The "nothing fits AT ALL and I need more clothes now" phase

Long sleeve t-shirts from Motherhood/Old Navy and Target

I've gotten a lot of wear out of the 5 or 6 long sleeve tees I bought for this pregnancy. I got black, white, purple, fuchsia, brown, and gray. I've probably worn the black and pink the most and the white the least.

Maternity dresses from Motherhood

My mom bought me the cutest denim shirtdress and I got a lot of wear out of it in this stage. The weather was warm enough to not need tights and I could still wear belts so I swapped out the fabric one for some of my fun skinny belts.

Flats!

At this stage I could not wear heels of any kind anymore. I was having a lot of swelling during this stage (it's gotten much better now that I'm not on my feet as much). But I found that my comfy ballet flats and flat boots are a must.

Creative layering

Layering is pretty typical for most people in the fall, but for this pregnancy I think I got even more creative. I'd layer too-short pre-preg tops over maternity tanks to get more life out of them and wore a lot of cardigans and jackets unbuttoned as well.

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PHASE 3: 34 weeks - 40 weeks

The "I'm sick of all my clothes and just want to wear pajamas" phase

In this last stage of pregnancy I've relied a lot on one go-to type outfit: Skinny jeans or black skinny pants, a long sleeve tshirt with a lightweight cardigan or chunky sweater over top plus knee-high boots and cute accessories (scarves, necklaces, hats). It's just so cold and nasty I have to wear boots, and anything else just takes too much thought.

Here are the other things I'm wearing in my last month or so:

Pajama bottoms - Worn only at home - not out in public!

Neil's t-shirts and sweatshirts - Again, mostly at home, though I have worn his solid brown zip-up sweatshirt out

My comfiest pair of maternity jeans

I have a super comfy pair of Liz Lange for Target jeans - similar pair pictured and here. They have a wide leg and just feel good. I'd recommend every pregnant woman to have one pair like this to kick around in.

Fake Uggs

Comfort before fashion when you're nearly 9 months pregnant.

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This post was getting far too long, so I've broken it up into three parts. Stay tuned for maternity fashion post Part 2 where I will share my favorite items that worked all throughout pregnancy and Part 3, my advice for pregnant fashionistas!